Felix makes a commiserating sound. “Pretty much. But the older I get the farther away that dream feels.”
“You sound awfully jaded for thirty-five.”
“Talk to me again when you’re my age now,” he retorts.
“Touché. Maybe you need to meet someone who shares your… unusual hobby. Surely there are other gay UFO enthusiasts out there.”
He snorts. “Most of the guys I’ve dated were dicks about it. They thought I’ve lost touch with reality.”
“They’re narrow-minded fools. I mean, based on all the science classes I took in college and med school, I can honestly say it’s highly improbable that we are the only intelligent species in the universe. Aliens are out there. Somewhere.”
“Exactly. In fact, I’m convinced some of them have already visited Earth.”
I make a noncommittal noise. “That one I’m less convinced on, but once again, not out of the realm of possibility. However, I don’t want you to waste your prime dating years searching for something you may never find.”
“Well, I also don’t want to give up on my dreams. Besides, we both know I’m not the only alien enthusiast in this family.”
Okay, he’s got me there. Sort of.
“I’m more drawn to the fictional variety. Like Seven of Nine onStar Trek: Voyager. Or Kira Nerys onDeep Space Nine. Those are some lesbian alien thirst traps for sure.”
Felix laughs. “Who knows, maybe there’s an alien woman out there waiting for a fabulous lady like you?”
“I certainly wouldn’t say no to that, but I’m also not gonna go looking for her in the desert.”
“All right, I take your point. To be honest, of late, I think my UFO hunting trips to the desert have been more of a distraction from my reality than anything. It’s also fun and full of possibilities.” Felix clears his throat the way he does when he’s nervous. “Actually, I think that’s a good segue into an issue to bring up with you that I’ve wanted to talk about for a while.”
Uh-oh. If he’s been dragging his feet in telling me, it can’t be good.
“Go on.”
“Betty and Dan are retiring. They made me an offer to buy the clinic.”
I sit upright. “That’s great news. Isn’t it?”
He’s quiet for a beat too long.
“The thing is,” he finally says, “I’m not sure I want it.”
No joke, that floors me.
“Why not? I thought you loved working there.”
“I did at first, and I still do to some extent, but I kind of feel like I’m stagnating. Not sure why. Although I suppose the lack of a partner or any romantic relationship in far too many years might be part of it. Perhaps I’m experiencing an early midlife crisis, but I think I might need a change of pace and location. Maybe leaving Vegas would help.” He swallows audibly. “I’ve even considered maybe going to Botswana or Tanzania.”
It’s like I can’t breathe all of a sudden.
Calm down, Gemma.
“So far?” I manage to say, my voice ragged.
“It wouldn’t be forever. Probably. All I know is I need… something else. Something new.”
Talk about a kick in the chest for more reasons than one.
What he’s saying resonates with me almost painfully.
“I’ve been a bit adrift too,” I say in a quiet voice.
