“Oh, I see,” his dad said, making a point of looking past him at the computer screen. “You’re not still posting those silly videos talking about celebrities, are you? Or the ones where you pull everything out of your wardrobe and show people how to get dressed? You’d think young people would know how to dress themselves these days.”
Jude frowned slightly. “I still can’t believe you actually follow me on social media.”
“Of course I do,” his dad said, looking shocked that Jude would even ask. “Only on that clock app, though.”
Jude gaped at him. “You’re on TikTok?”
“Only to watch your videos.”
It was still utterly beyond comprehension to Jude. His dad was the last person he would have pegged as having social media accounts. Then again, he maintained an entire island in Scotland so he could pretend to be a man of the people, so why not TikTok?
“Not that I understand any of it,” his dad went on, brushing his hand through the air like none of it mattered. “I still think you should use that university degree of yours to get a real job.”
Maybe it was the stress of the last few days or the uncertainty that hung around Jude where he and Nally were concerned, but something snapped inside Jude. “You’re right,” he said, sitting heavily in his computer chair. “I’m wasting my life. I’m building a fake castle on digital sand when I should be doing something more substantial with my life, like Nally is.”
Nally will get bored of me and move on when he sees I’m not as serious as he is. I’ll be an anchor holding him back.
Jude felt sick as those thoughts zipped through his head. They were intrusive thoughts only, but it was too tempting to listen to them.
Some or all of his feelings must have shown on his face. His dad frowned and stared at him like he was trying to make some sort of medical diagnosis. “I was only joking, you know,” he said. “I might not understand this influencer thing you have going on, but I know you’re good at it.” When Jude looked up and arched one eyebrow at his dad, he went on with, “You haven’t asked me for money to buy a car or fly down to Spain or someplace for years now. I figured you must have been making that money on your own.”
“I do well,” Jude said, but without any pride or energy behind it. “None of it seems to matter anymore.”
Jude’s dad scrutinized him harder. “What does Nally say about all this? You’re acting as his agent, aren’t you?”
Again, Jude felt like he’d been caught doing or looking at something he shouldn’t by his dad bringing up Nally. Instead of answering the question, he opened up a different can of worms.
“Do you think Nally and I are right for each other?” he asked, squirming even as he did. He and his dad didn’t exactly have the sort of perfect father-son relationship where he could just talk about his dating life. Sex was right off the table.
His dad looked at him as if he’d grown another head. “Of course the two of you are right for each other. Have you had some sort of a spat?”
“No,” Jude answered quickly, then felt even more awkward. “It’s just?—”
God, he absolutely did not want to be talking to his dad about any of this. And at the same time, his dad was exactly who he wanted to talk to.
“Nally and I have recently taken our friendship to the next level,” he blurted. “But now we’re sort of panicking and worriedthat we might ruin the whole thing, like what happened with me and Timothy.”
“Who’s Timothy?” his dad asked, blinking cluelessly.
“Dad,” Jude said with an impatient huff. “You remember. Timothy? Who me and Nally were briefly best friends with at uni before I started, um, dating Tim and nearly exploded everything?”
Jude’s dad shook his head. “No. That doesn’t ring a bell at all. I wasn’t really paying attention to anything you and Nally were doing at uni.”
It was surreal to think that his own father hadn’t had a clue about one of the most traumatizing and potentially devastating things that had ever happened to him. “We were all friends,” he said, “until Tim and I started, er, dating.”
“Having sex, son,” his dad said in a flat voice. “I’m not an infant, you know.”
“The very last thing I want to talk to my dad about is my sex life,” Jude said, matching his tone.
“Isn’t that what we’re talking about right now?” his dad asked, back to being clueless. Although Jude was beginning to think that maybe the whole clueless thing was a total act to get him to open up.
Jude sighed. “I love Nally, as more than just a friend. Now that we’re dating?—”
“Hold on just a mo,” his dad said, holding up one hand. “Nowthat you’re dating? I thought the two of you have been together since A levels.”
That was it. Jude threw up his hands and growled in frustration. No one but him and Nally seemed to be taking this crisis of confidence seriously. Even complete strangers on the internet, interviewers on the red carpet, and wait staff at restaurants seemed to just assume they were together.
Although in a completely backwards way, maybe that was the answer to why he and Nally were so wrapped up about this.
