“You’re so embarrassing,” Nally laughed. He couldn’t have loved his mum more if he tried, though.
“Embarrassment is a social construct,” Janice said, standing straight and pounding one of the piano keys to underscore her point. “No one should ever be embarrassed for exploring themselves, their bodies, or anyone else’s bodies.”
“You really need to stop now,” Nally laughed.
“Are you certain you’re a proper Hawthorne?” Janice teased him in return. When Nally just rolled his eyes, she bent to kiss his cheek again. “Call your man and invite him to spend some time with you,” she said. “Better still, invite him to move in with you. You know he’s been waiting for you to invite him to move in for years now.”
“He has not,” Nally said. But he knew that wasn’t true. Jude had said as much the night before. He’d straight-up said he hadn’t moved out of his parents’ house because he thought he wouldn’t have an excuse to spend so much time at Hawthorne House. All this time, he’d been half a step away from moving in with Nally.
“This is all incredibly overwhelming,” he sighed as his mum stepped away from the piano.
“Only because you’re a masochist who likes mentally torturing himself,” Janice said as she started for the door. “You and Jude should really try BDSM, although Goddess knows neither of you are Dom material. I can give you the name ofseveral accomplished Doms who would be thrilled to play with both of you together, if you’d like.”
“Mum!” Nally laughed and cringed simultaneously.
“I really think you’d enjoy it,” she went on, regardless of Nally’s mortification. “It would get you out of that overthinking head of yours. Jude, too. Layton would eat the two of you up.”
“Will you please just go now?” Nally giggled, feeling so much better.
“I will,” Janice said as she reached the door. “But, oh, your father is serious about wanting to know whether you’ll be teaching composition this winter. We even had some man show up at the house yesterday asking about your classes. He seemed very keen and professional. He even wanted to see your studio to make certain you had all the most up-to-date equipment.”
“That reminds me,” Nally said, swiveling on the piano bench as he remembered the disaster of his laptop. “I need a new laptop. Mine was ruined in the rain in Scotland.”
“Then go buy a new laptop,” Janice said, shaking her head as if Nally was ridiculous for even mentioning it. “You’re all grown up now, dear,” she said. “You’re exploring your burgeoning sexuality with the love of your life. You can go out and purchase a computer on your own, too.”
“Go away now,” Nally laughed, shaking his head and turning back to the piano. “You’re a menace.”
“I love you, too, dear,” Janice said before leaving him at last.
Nally laughed and shook his head as he went back to playing. Maybe everything would work out the way it needed to after all.
EIGHTEEN
What a terrible idea.In the cold light of morning, Jude hated everything about the pledge he and Nally had made on Blackfriars Bridge to not be in each other’s pockets all the time so that they could have a healthy relationship. What was so wrong about massive, crippling codependence anyhow?
For what felt like the thousandth time in the last hour, Jude sat back in his computer chair with a sigh and stared at the editing work he was doing with an overwhelming sense of hopelessness. He needed to work. He’d been negligent in the last few days when it came to posting content. The things he’d scheduled to post before leaving for Scotland had all gone up, and most of them were outdated anyhow.
The problem was, he didn’t know what do post next. He’d never had any problem scrolling through the internet, looking for the latest bite of celebrity gossip and then commenting on it. There was plenty going on, but none of it seemed particularly important. Everything that he’d built his life and career on so far seemed vapid and pointless compared to the tangle of everything going on with Nally.
Were they stronger than ever now or was everything about to fall apart? Were they a couple or were they just friends who happened to fuck that one time? Was this the end or the beginning or something else entirely?
One thing was certain, he wasn’t doing himself any favors by dwelling on it. Work. He needed to concentrate on work.
The best he could manage was to post a selfie of himself hard at work at his computer with a caption that said, “Video content doesn’t edit itself. I’m working hard for you!”
That last bit made him feel like he should go into politics. Westminster was certainly filled with posh twats like him who were equally out of touch with the vagaries of the modern world. Or maybe he should go in the other direction and become some sort of anti-government crusader, working hard for a better world.
“Bollocks, bollocks, bollocks,” he said, practically throwing aside his mouse and slumping back in his chair. “What’s the point of any of it?”
He rubbed his face with both hands, then nearly jumped straight out of his skin when his dad stepped into the doorway of his office and asked, “Something wrong, son?”
Jude flushed hot. For a heartbeat, he felt like his thirteen-year-old self getting caught with a dirty magazine he’d found at the back of his dad’s closet. The photos of naked women hadn’t done a damn thing for him, but the shock of being discovered looking at them had nearly caused his testicles to un-descend.
“Dad. When did you come in?” he asked breathlessly, jumping to his feet. He needed to stand anyhow. His energy was all over the place.
His dad laughed and patted the air. “Settle down, son. I haven’t peeked over your shoulder to see what you’re watching online. This time.”
Jude would have been mortified if he hadn’t been so miserable. “I wasn’t watching anything. I was editing some videos to post.”
