“What? Alright.” Jude closed his eyes and inched slightly closer to Nally.
“Remember that one video we watched with the twink wearing just a bowtie and that muscley army guy?” Nally asked.
Jude hummed, his whole body going warm and his dick growing again as he remembered the particular favorite of theirs. “I remember how army guy pushed the twink to his knees and fed him his cock,” he said.
His dick remembered as well and jumped back into the game.
“And the way army guy combed his fingers through the twink’s hair before grabbing it and pumping into his throat?” Nally asked, his voice deeper and breathless. He shifted slightly to rub his hardening cock against Jude’s hip.
“And later, when army guy had the twink on his back on the bed?” Jude swept his hand around to reach for Nally’s balls, fondling them and teasing his perineum.
Nally caught his breath, then said, “He grabbed the twink’s ankles and pulled his legs apart.”
“Then he bent his knees back and pulled him to the edge of the bed so he could pound his ass.”
Nally moaned and wrapped his hand around Jude’s cock. He teased the head and pulled back Jude’s foreskin to smear some of the precum Jude was leaking like a sieve down his length. “The expression on the twink’s face,” he gasped.
“That army guy,” Jude moaned in reply, stroking his way up the underside of Nally’s cock to mirror what Nally was doing to him.
They were off to the races, no further need to narrate the porn they’d once watched. Jude absolutely put himself in the twink’s place and imagined Nally as the one fucking him, and he was reasonably certain Nally was doing the exact same thing. It wasn’t quite the sex they’d been hoping to have. Jude was in his own world of imagination, and Nally was off with his own fairies. They didn’t resume kissing, they just focused on getting each other off.
It was a boundary they’d subconsciously agreed on, but it was definitely there. The pleasure was great, and in no time, Jude was hovering on the edge of an orgasm, but in his mind, it didn’t count as having sex with his best friend.
“Fuck, I’m coming,” Nally gasped.
“Me, too,” Jude groaned, letting himself go.
Seconds later, they were both shooting their sticky loads all over each other’s hands and bellies. The release was nice, but it wasn’t even close to what Jude wanted or what he’d been hoping for. All in all, though, it wasn’t as bad as it could have been.
Once they were done, they flopped away from each other onto their backs, catching their breaths with their shoulders and sides pressed together.
“I could get used to that,” Nally gasped, smiling up at the beamed ceiling.
“Yeah, not half bad,” Jude agreed, chuckling.
It was a lie. Orgasms aside, that wasn’t at all what he’d been hoping for. The truth was, he’d chickened out. He should havebucked up and topped Nally the way he wanted. Or he should have asked Nally to get over himself and top him. One or both of them needed to be vers if they were going to make their relationship work.
That thought struck the fear of God into Jude before he was ready for it. After all they’d been through, the good and the bad, and the mess of the last few weeks, what if the two of them just weren’t sexually compatible? It was exactly what they’d both been terrified of all along. They’d pushed things too far, and now there was a chance they’d ruined everything between them forever.
Jude pretended to sleep for a few minutes. It was the only way he could think of to avoid admitting that their attempt at sex had fallen woefully short of what it should have been. They hadn’t found some sort of sudden clarity with each other, they’d just done what they’d done a dozen times before, only naked, in a bed, and using their own imagination instead of sitting in front of a computer, on a couch, with their jeans unzipped.
And now they would have to live with that awkwardness, not just for the length of time they were on the island, but for the rest of their lives.
“Wanna go walk around the island and explore?” Jude asked after they’d been lying there cooling off for a good fifteen minutes.
“Yeah,” Nally said with way too much enthusiasm. “That would be awesome.”
Nally was on the side of the bed not up against the wall, and within seconds of replying, he sat up, then swung his legs around and bolted for the door. Jude couldn’t blame him, but he winced all the same. He moved to rub his face, then realized he still had spots of his and Nally’s cum drying on his hand.
He was tempted to lick it off just to see how his friend tasted.
Even the thought had his dick thickening again.
“Fuck!” he growled, pounding the bed under him with both fists before pushing himself to sit and look around the room.
The condoms and lube still sat on the bedside table, untouched. It felt like they were taunting Jude or accusing him of coming within inches of touching the sky only to back out and run screaming at the last moment.
He felt like a bloody fool. Everything had been going so well. He loved Nally, and he was as certain as ever that Nally loved him. But from where he stood, they’d just done the exact thing both of them were most afraid of. They’d tried to have sex and they’d ended up ruining everything.
