As was expected on a night when The Chameleon Club was hosting a Christmas ball, the night’s attendant opened the door as soon as they reached it, gesturing for them to come inside with a smile.
Yves used the fuss of going inside and peeling out of his winter things to delay answering Howard. He handed his coat, hat, gloves, and scarf off to one of the footmen, who would take it directly to his room, then stood back and watched as Howard did the same.
Yves could not help but smile. Howard was the handsomest man of his acquaintance, despite his white hair and beard. Perhaps because of it. Even if the time they spent together was about to come to some sort of end, Yves would always be glad he’d had these moments with a man as lovely as he was.
Once Howard had handed his winter things over to a footman, he offered his arm to Yves. They were safe within the confines of the club, so Yves took it as though he were an affectionate debutante and allowed Howard to lead him down the hallway to the dining room, now arranged as a ballroom, where bright, festive music was playing and where the sound of men talking and laughing filled the air.
The Chameleon Club had outdone itself for the Christmas ball. The ballroom was bright with the light of candles and tin lanterns that had been punctured to create patterns of stars and trees along the walls. The greenery that Yves and Howard had helped to put up the other day was everywhere, glittering with red ribbons and shining baubles.
But it was the members of The Brotherhood in their holiday finery that truly made Yves smile. They were all happy and relaxed, even the ones who danced the waltz together, holdingeach other close in a way they could never dare to in the world outside of the club. A few had even donned gowns for the event and swirled around the ballroom with carefree joy.
“Home and hearth have their appeal, but I do so love the freedom and solidarity of The Brotherhood,” Yves commented with a happy sigh as he and Howard surveyed the scene.
Howard seemed surprised as he turned to look at Yves. “You would prefer a company such as this to that of your cozy loved ones?”
Yves had just spotted Bolingbroke and waved to him across the room. He felt the impact of Howard’s question a few beats late.
“Why would you ask that?” he asked, blinking at his savior.
Of all things, Howard looked flustered and boyish for a moment. “You seemed so happy in the Cavanaughs’ parlor,” he said. “You have been without the love of family for so long. I would understand entirely if you wished to choose them over…all this.”
The way Howard’s face flushed as he spoke had Yves’ heart beating faster, with astonishment as much as anything else. “Did you think I would spend one day with my sister and her family and immediately decide I wanted nothing more to do with The Brotherhood and the one place in all of London where I actually feel safe?”
“Well, I…I did not know,” Howard said.
Yves’ heart flipped in his chest, and he was suddenly overcome with sentimentality. He would have expected a man like Howard to be filled with confidence at all times and in all things. It was an utter surprise to discover that he might not be.
In answer to the insecurity he suddenly felt from his lover, Yves smiled and offered his hand. “Would you care to dance?” he asked.
Howard grinned back at him and took his hand. “I would love to,” he said.
They walked out to the center of the room, where couples were swirling in three-quarter time under the flickering lights of Christmas. Yves slipped gladly into Howard’s arms, perfectly content to allow him to lead, in the dance and in everything else, and they glided into the steps along with everyone else.
“Howard, you know that I adore you, do you not?” he asked once they had established enough of a rhythm that they no longer had to pay much attention to their steps.
“I…I did not wish to assume,” Howard said.
Yves laughed, squeezing Howard’s hand in his. “But of course I adore you,” he said. “You are so much braver and bolder than me. You are a man of the world and a man of experience.”
Of all things, Howard looked slightly cowed by those observations. “I understand,” he said. “I am too much for you at this time. You wish to have a quiet life, and I have disturbed that.”
Yves’ eyes widened, and he gaped at Howard. “That is not what I mean at all,” he said. Slowly, the things Yvette had said to him about Howard being bruised returned. “I still want you, Howard,” he said. “Regardless of the return to my family or the change in my situation, I still want you very much.”
“You do?” Howard asked, hope causing him to look years younger than he was.
“Yes, of course,” Yves laughed. “You are Howard Bradford, perhaps the most sought-after member of The Brotherhood. How could I not want you?”
Howard’s expression shifted, but it was still tense and uncomfortable. “Is that why you wish to spend time with me?” he asked unconfidently. “Because I am some sort of…catch?”
Instantly, Yves saw his mistake. “No!” he exclaimed.
They were lucky in that the dance ended at precisely that moment. They were doubly lucky that they had ended it near one of the corners of the room. Yves stepped out of Howard’s arms and took his hand, leading him over to a relatively sheltered corner beside a window that was decorated with candles.
“That is not what I meant at all,” he said, taking Howard’s hands again and moving closer to him so that they might create a world all of their own. “I am with you and I wish to continue to be with you for as long as possible because you are a good man, Howard. You are wise and considerate. You helped me when no one else could or would. I find your experience alluring and your tales of adventure fascinating. I understand fully if I am not enough for you?—”
He intended to say more, but Howard raised a finger and placed it over his lips. “You are enough,” he said. “Do not ever think that you are not enough for anyone or any circumstances. You are clever and brave. You are beautiful and have such a good heart. Watching you with those urchins the other day and with your nephews and nieces today was truly a pleasure.”
Yves caught his breath, more because of the sweet look in Howard’s eyes than because of what he was saying. “You were delightful to watch as well,” he said.
