“Yves was heartbroken when David abandoned him,” Mrs. Cavanaugh went on. “I’ve been watching the way he looks at you today. I know my brother, Mr. Bradford. He loves you. He is devoted to you and would follow you to the ends of the earth.”
Howard’s heart was suddenly assaulted by a storm of emotions. “I believe I love him,” he confessed. It was a confession even to himself. He did not know the full extent of his feelings until then. “But I cannot ask him to leave a family he has only just rediscovered.”
“You are not asking him to leave anything,” Mrs. Cavanaugh insisted. “We are here, and we will always be here for him. And for you. Neither of you needs to be in our pockets constantly for that to be true.” Howard opened his mouth to say more, but was stopped. “Think about all I have said,” Mrs. Cavanaugh went on. “It is Christmas Day. Nothing either great or small needs to be decided upon just now. Today is a day for fun, for prayer, and for love.”
That seemed to be the end of that. Mrs. Cavanaugh might have been small and kind, but she had a will as strong as iron. Howard was beginning to love her for it.
They rejoined the rest of the family, and Howard even had his chance to join in with the games and merriment. He might not have brought gifts for the Cavanaughs and other Clermonts, but they had somehow remembered him in their generous preparations. He was given a fine pair of mittens that Mrs. Cavanaugh herself had knit and a muffler that Mrs. Clermont had picked out especially for him.
By the time night began to fall and it was necessary for Howard and Yves to return to The Chameleon Club, Howard felt completely confident that Yves had more than just himself to love and care for him.
And he was utterly flummoxed as to how he could ever compete with them.
Ten
It was a glorious day, by far the most joyful occasion Yves could remember. Every one of his fears that police would arrive to arrest him, and Howard, had proved to be utterly unfounded. Part of him felt deeply ashamed for allowing his fear to keep him from the people who loved him and whom he loved for so long.
“Do not feel foolish for one second, my darling brother,” Yvette told him as he and Howard donned their coats and scarves in preparation to leave. “It was Guillame. This entire time, it was Guillame who posed the threat to you. He has not been gone more than a fortnight. You could not have rejoined us any sooner than that.”
“Thank you, Yvette,” Yves said, hugging his sister tightly, regardless of whether it was unmanly for him to do that, now that they were both grown.
“I am so happy you have found Mr. Bradford,” Yvette whispered in his ear while they still embraced. “But have a care for him. I believe his heart has been more bruised by this day than he is letting on.”
Yves pulled back from his sister and gave her a curious look. Howard was saying his goodbyes to Cavanaugh, so when Yvesstudied him anxiously, he did not see it. “I will help him if I can,” he said to his sister in a quiet voice.
The goodbyes took some time to say. Throughout the day, the boys, both Yvette’s and Charlotte’s, had warmed up to Yves considerably, and they were sad to see their new favorite uncle go. Yves hugged and kissed them all and promised he would return as soon as he could.
Because Ben had merely dropped them off in Fulham but did not stay to wait all day on Christmas for them to be finished with their festivities, Yves and Howard had to walk back toward Hyde Park until they were able to find and secure a hired hack. It gave them some time to talk together in the festive dark of the end of Christmas Day.
“Your family is quite wonderful,” Howard said, hunkering into the new muffler Charlotte had given him.
“I had forgotten how much,” Yves said, smiling inside his own muffler, which had also been a gift from Charlotte and the boys. It had likely belonged to Guillame, but it seemed very little used and did not smell of his brother, so Yves was happy with it. “Regardless of Yvette’s warmth and forgiveness, I am ashamed of how long I kept myself separated from such lovely people.”
Howard glanced at him as a few, fluttering flakes of snow began to fall. “She was right about you not blaming yourself,” he said. “The danger to men like us is real, particularly when one has a brother such as you did.”
Yves hummed and nodded, but he wasn’t certain he could be as forgiving of himself.
They walked for a bit longer before Howard said, “I suppose you will take Cavanaugh up on his offer of opening a second green grocer under his auspices.”
Yves’ brow shot up in surprise as he glanced to his lover. “Why would I do that?”
Howard looked as surprised as he felt. “It is a capital offer,” he said. “Your brother-in-law seems quite prosperous. It would be a boon to work under his supervision.”
“But I know nothing about grocers or shops,” Yves said.
“I am quite certain Cavanaugh would be all too glad to instruct you in everything you might need to know,” Howard said.
“Perhaps,” Yves said.
It was not all he wanted to say, but they were lucky enough to happen upon a hack that was ready for hire, and considering how frozen Yves’ feet were beginning to feel, he was grateful for it. The inside of the hack was warm and smelled of cinnamon and spices, as if its previous occupants had transported delicious baked goods to wherever they’d come from.
The lull in the conversation gave Yves far too much time to contemplate every potential meaning behind Howard’s words, however. Was his savior suggesting he go work for Cavanaugh because it would be the distraction he needed to slip out of Yves’ life? Did he care enough to see that Yves was provided for and had gainful employment, but not enough to stay with him? After everything that had been said and felt earlier, was Howard done with him after all?
He hated the thought, but he could not stop himself from pondering it extensively as the hack rolled through the streets of London toward Park Lane. He had only just discovered Howard, and through him, rediscovered a part of himself. He did not want to lose any of that so soon.
By the time they reached The Chameleon Club, Yves’ anxiety had blossomed within him to the point where it was difficult to force himself to step out of the carriage and into the world where people might see him. Howard noticed, of course, but he had to pay the driver and see the carriage on its way before he was able to address Yves about it.
“Has something gone wrong?” he asked, stepping up to Yves and resting a hand on the small of his back as they walked up to the club’s front door.
