Chapter Fifty-One
Logan
I helped my cousin Alexa into the taxi and waved her off as it drove away. She was in town and wanted to check in to see how I was doing after my parents passing. Alexa was one of the only cousins I had who wasn’t a dick. She’d left that side of the family and never looked back, but she had heard through the grapevine about what had occurred with mom and day, and happened to be in the area on a business trip.
When I walked back into the almost-empty bar to finish my drink, I was met with a wall of the three people who meant the most to me, glowering in my direction.
I knew what they wanted to say, what they knew I had done and disapproved.
“Fix it,” Tink stated, her arms crossed over her chest, possibly to keep from choking me.
I deserved it.
“It’s too late now.”
I hadn’t even realized the damage I would cause even though I didn’t do what Mia thought I did. I wasn’t thinking. She wasn’t just seeing me smiling and kissing the cheek of a beautiful woman who was my cousin that I thought would like to see the beach before returning to the bar. She saw her ex cheating on her in their home. She’d felt the pain as she had before, like it was happening again, because, in her eyes, in her memories, it was.
“No, it’s not. You fucked up. You fucked up big.” Tate was shaking with anger, and I kept waiting for the punch I was owed.
Even Callum looked like he was up to beating some sense into me.
“She believes I betrayed her in a way that she can’t accept. I let her believe it. Do you think I like this feeling? This oily, thick tar-like feeling that is coating me, weighing me down? I hate it. I hate seeing her cry. I hate seeing her hurting because of me. I’d spent all these weeks falling in love with her, helping her see how perfect she was and how much of a life she deserved.
“I’m afraid. There, you happy? It’s been thrown in my face over and over how worthless I am. My ex-wife tried to make me into something else because just being me wasn’t enough, and my fucking parent chose death over me. Literally.”
I looked away from their probing stares, my fists clenching and my teeth grinding at the pain coursing through my veins from the utter despair written on Mia’s face when she had seen me with Alexa. I wanted to run to her, beg for forgiveness that I didn’t believe she’d give me now. But I couldn’t. The deflation in my body was enough to drop me to the floor. I didn’t know how I was still standing before them.
“I won’t survive if Mia finds me worthless like they did,” I admitted.
This was all to protect us both.
But, in the end, all I did was hurt us further.
“Mia loves you, Logan. She was there for you and was ready with open arms to help pull you out of this madness. She wasn’t giving up—until you just put images in her head that shouldn’t be there.” Callum’s anger softened.
He understood what I had done and why. He was my co-worker in Inspired for a reason.
“But you can’t let fear control you. Let it go, forgive them, put it all in the past, and step up to the brightest future you can. Mia is your future. Everyone, including your dumbass, knows it. You got scared, you got hurt, and you lashed out. Fine. Now, make it right. Be the captain of your ship, Logan,” Callum spoke.
I knew he was right. I was acting out in my pain.
Tink cleared her throat. It was her turn to have her say in this. I wasn’t sure I was going to like what she had to say, but Tink had been the one to pull me out before, and maybe she would be the kick in the ass I needed this time.
“I never had kids, and I didn’t think I’d need to say it, but apparently, you boys are thick-skulled. You’re enough for me. I feel you boys are my boys, and I will mama bear anyone who thinks otherwise. Your ex, your parents—they were the ones who missed out, who weren’t enough for you. Not the other way around. I love you boys.”
Tink’s words hit me like an arrow to the heart.
I was an idiot.
Tink’s short arms managed to snag all three of us, pulling us into a massive hug session.
I needed this, someone to point out the haves instead of the have-nots. I preached it, but when it came time for me to apply my own teachings, I’d failed. I’d let the negative and the bad take me away.
I had so many great things in my life that I’d lost sight of. I’d forgive myself for it later, but right now, as I stood, embraced in the arms of the people who thought I was enough just the way I was, I started listing all the things I was grateful for.
I am free.
I am loved.
