Chapter Fifty
Mia
Logan had been avoiding me for a week, but I hadn’t given up yet.
Tonight, I’d be meeting up with Callum, Tate, and Logan at the bar. Hopefully, we could talk some sense into him. To maybe get some help or talk to someone if he wouldn’t talk to us.
He had been so silent the last time I saw him sitting on his family’s floor.
Tate and Callum both had apologized over and over when they made it to the airport to leave Utah. I wasn’t mad at them. I was mad at the notion in Logan’s head that he thought giving us up would be better for the both of us. All of this was against everything good he’d taught me. But then again, something in him had broken. This Logan was not the smiling, easygoing version I was used to. This was a man who, according to his friends, had been married and that woman had tried to change everything about him, that he was never enough for her. Then, his parents, who never cared about him, and he felt like he was never enough for them either. Both sides had treated him like shit, and right now, he believed he wasn’t worth it.
Tink’s was busy when I arrived. The sounds of people singing and talking loudly hit me as soon as I opened the car door of my town car. My driver would be nearby in case I needed him, which I prayed hard that Logan wouldn’t push me away this time like last.
Putting a brave smile on my face, I opened the door to the bar, ready to help prove to Logan that he was enough just the way he was.
That smile faded as soon as my gaze found him, walking with a tall blonde, hand in hand, his eyes meeting mine before he leaned over to kiss her cheek. Then, his gaze returned to her just as he smiled that charismatic Logan grin at her, and together, they walked out the back of the bar toward the dark beach.
It could be nothing. She could just be a friend.
But everything in me refused to believe that.
My vision turned foggy, and all I saw were the images of Wallace pounding his dick into Hollis over and over when I’d come home early to see him. Her moans and his grunts were the sounds of a betrayer’s soundtrack playing in my head on repeat. The pain I’d felt then was happening again. That dropping sensation in my stomach, like that feeling of being on a roller coaster. I wanted to laugh as tears broke free instantly. I’d called Logan my very own roller coaster before, that he would scare me and thrill me at the same time. But I’d never thought his coaster would break me like he was currently doing.
The air seemed thinner despite the humidity soaking into my skin from the summer air. The walls were threatening to crush me as they closed in. I had to get out of here. I vaguely saw Callum and Tate stand, their eyes wide at me as they began rushing to my side. No, no, no. I had to get out of here. I couldn’t hear them make up an excuse for him like Wallace’s friends had done to me. Placing blame.
I ran out the door behind me and kept running. My heels made it difficult, but I didn’t stop.
I couldn’t fight back the memories of Wallace. It just kept running through me, like the waves crashing on the beach around me. I felt the undertow sweeping me away.
My driver was sitting a block away, waiting for me to call, and I was sure I was going to have to start paying for his blood pressure medications after the scare I gave him, banging on his door to unlock my side. He did instantly and was trying to see if I was hurt or if I needed to go to the hospital. But there was nothing he could do. My hurt was internal.
Those images of Wallace and Hollis turned into Logan and the blonde.
Her moans and her fingers scratching the tattoo on his arm, those long, tan legs wrapping around his perfect hips as he thrust into her without stopping. Never pausing to look back at me as my heart broke in two.
I couldn’t go home. I didn’t want to be in that place where he and I had christened memories of our own, mingled with that of Wallace’s.
So, I told my driver to take me to my parents’ house. My family had been there for me before even if I didn’t try to find comfort from them. This time was different. I knew I was loved, I knew I was enough, and I knew deep down that I would one day recover from this like I had before.
I was stronger now, but in this moment, I needed someone to lean on.
Gia was hanging out for dessert when I showed up. She took one look at me and slid the cheesecake pan over with a fork in her hand.
I took it and let the tears flow in silence while I ate away my emotions, banishing the agonizing images that were tearing me apart.
Logan’s smile.
My smile directed at another.
I had been there for him. I’d tried to tell him that he was enough, that I loved him despite the pain and hurt he was going through. That I’d be there, stick it out for him, because we were worth it. But this … he had known I had a line from what had been done to me before. There was one thing I wouldn’t let happen again, the memories still there, the pain still lingering every now and then.
I’d thought I’d gotten it all out in my forgiveness letter, and I had. I’d felt free, and I didn’t even hate Wallace now. But just because you forgave didn’t mean the memories disappeared.
So, I took comfort in those who loved me and tried so hard to block out the vision of Logan and the blonde from my head.
