Chapter Twenty
Esme
I loved seeing my parents, but I was happy to be heading home. They could only keep up the smiles for so long before the worried looks grew on their face.
So many emotions were running through my head that once Dorian drove us onto the highway, I pretended to sleep so I would have time to think in peace.
Nothing had changed in Dorian’s eyes, but so much had evolved in mine. Even after we’d had sex, he touched me gently, and even held me while we slept. Somewhere deep in there, I had to believe he was capable of love. It was either that or get a restraining order because I didn’t have the ability to push him away when he was near me. My heart and body refused to let him go. I just wished my mind was on their page in the book.
I knew we were going on the bridge to Seahill when the car slowed down to a near stop. Traffic sucked.
“You can stop pretending to sleep now,” he announced, and my eyes flew open, staring at his in the reflection of the window.
Instead of moving or trying to defend myself, I stayed snuggled up against his seat facing the window silently.
“Going to ignore me forever?” he teased, and I rolled my eyes. I wished.
“I can admit you being silent has its advantages. No more mouthing off at me anymore, and I can just tell you what to do at work without a retort.”
Yeah, I knew he was baiting me, and it worked. I turned over and leveled him with a look that promised he was going to regret his words.
“There she is. Being the silent mouse is not becoming of you anymore.”
“I hate you,” I huffed and wanted to say more, but we still had another half an hour of our ride together.
“We both know that’s not accurate anymore. I’m pretty sure you said you were falling. Quite a tragedy.”
“Yeah, well, maybe that fight you seem to like so much will be put to good use and fight this.” I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but I didn’t.
“Or you can entertain me with your other thought of making me fall for you in return. Impossible but would be amusing to watch.”
He did not just say that.
“Right now, I’m thinking murder would be easier.”
“You wouldn’t murder a cockroach.” It was his turn to roll his eyes.
“You’re not a cockroach; you’re more like a mosquito, and I will kill one of those suckers in a heartbeat.”
Yeah, I said he was like a mosquito.
“Interesting choice of creature,” he stated while trying to figure out why I’d say that.
“You suck the life out of people, and you’re annoying as hell.” I felt pretty proud of myself for coming up with that, and he looked at me for a moment then laughed.
Why did his laugh have to make him seem so normal and attractive?
“What do you want, Dorian?” The words were out just as I thought them. I’d been wondering that all day. What did he want in life?
His laughter stopped sadly, but that was my doing. He wouldn’t look at me as he spoke, and I found myself staring at his profile.
“Retribution.”
I was not expecting that one word, but I knew it was deep. He had shared something very personal with me.
“And after that? Do you want to be alone until you die?” I couldn’t stop asking these questions, wanting to understand him more. I guess he was in the giving mood because he answered me once more.
“I’ll sit back and watch. Being alone makes no difference to me now.” His voice was low, and while he didn’t seem upset by my questions, I could tell he was struggling with these words.
