“You love him?” He moved on, satisfied with my answer.
“Unconditionally,” I replied, without hesitation.
“Okay, so what’s the plan?” He sat down next to me and was waiting for me to tell him my grand scheme. Except I didn’t really have one, I was just kinda doing this all on the fly.
“Uh, find out where he lives and surprise him?”
“Naked?” His eyebrow arched up in question.
“Uhh. Maybe?” It wasn’t off the table, if Joel thought it would help. I knew Killian loved my body, so it couldn’t hurt. Joel chuckled to himself, and relaxed back against the cushion.
“Okay, we’ll wing it. I haven’t heard from him since he left my house a couple of weeks ago to get back to work. But I think he said he wouldn’t be gone too long.” He stood up suddenly and walked into his big kitchen, then came back quickly.
“I’m going to call him.” He pressed a button, and then put it on speaker phone so we could both hear. Nervous, I waited for Killian to answer him, but it just went straight to voicemail. Bummer. I really hope he wasn’t ignoring both of us.
“Could he be avoiding you too?” As soon as I asked, I started wishing that was the case. If he was just ignoring me then that meant something, something I didn’t want to acknowledge. Joel’s face scrunched up as he thought over my question.
“No. It’s not the way our friendship works. He would tell me if I pissed him off, not just drop off the planet.” He sat back down next to me and let out a deep breath.
“He’s probably just focusing on the road. It’s his escape when shit in his life weighs down on him. He really fucking missed you.” Joel looked at me and the corner of his lips went up. Sweet guy.
“I missed him too,” I admitted proudly. He gave me time and space, and now I needed to be plastered against him. We talked for a few more minutes about coming up with some sort of plan, but I was so tired from the flight that I could barely keep my eyes open anymore. All that adrenaline finally burned off in my system.
“Go on upstairs and sleep in the second bedroom. First door when you get up the stairs. I’ll see if I can find a way to contact him to see where he is, on the down low of course. Surprises are everything nowadays.” He winked as I stood to do as he said. No luggage to carry up the stairs, so once I opened the first door after the stairs, I plopped on the bed and started to drift off. It was strange, but I swore the bed smelled like Killian. All man, hint of diesel fuel, and Twizzlers. A deadly combination to my heart. When I finally let sleep take me, I had a smile across my face. Things were going to be okay, and I was going to make Killian mine once again.
When I woke up the next morning, I asked Joel if I could take a board out on the waves to try another go at surfing before he took me to the airport with Killian’s address in my phone.
The waves crashed against me, but I wasn’t giving in. I was determined to stand on a wave.
“Okay, turn around and wait for the right one. You’ll feel it in your gut, which one is your baby,” Joel called out to me while sitting on his board, trying to guide me. So far it wasn’t helping; I was too much in my own head to just let it go and ride. I tried. Seven tries so far, and I had failed at every single one of them.
“You’ve gotta clear your head, Livia. You can do this.” I nodded and gave him a thumbs up, but I didn’t really feel his words.
I watched the waves start to come up behind me and waited for the one my gut told me to take.
“You’ll have to keep practicing. Everything that is worth your passion is worth the time it takes to make it happen.” Killian’s words to me the last time I tried to surf came back to me. I said them out loud, over and over. He was right, I just had to keep going; it was worth the falls.
Wave after wave, I waited. Until I saw it. Beautiful, a deep blue, and starting to roll majestically. It called to me, and I turned to paddle. This was my time. My wave. My passion manifested into the ocean.
Once the wave and my board met, I popped up, just like Joel said to do, and opened my toes for grip.
It was everything I thought it would be. My board sliced through the water like a knife to butter. I felt like a goddess for having tried, and even though I failed a few times, and for not giving up. It was definitely worth the effort. I could hear Joel yelling his excitement at me, but I didn’t want to take my eyes off my actions. Without tricks or some of the cool things I’d seen him do, I rode the wave to the shore and hopped off onto the sand.
“I did it!!” I grabbed the board to keep it from floating away, unlatched my ankle strap, and set it down before I jumped around, full of joy.
“You kicked ass out there!” Joel came at me and picked me up for a hug. It felt nice, reminding me of my brother’s hugs.
“I did! Holy shit! I rode a wave!” I felt like I could do anything and conquer anything I set my mind to. Which was fantastic, because now my mind was set on getting to Killian and making something with him work. Forever.
Click.
Click, click. Click.
“Shit!” Joel cursed, and put me down, but not before shielding my body from something.
“What’s going on?” I asked him, but he led me towards his house quickly. I tried to get a look at whatever that clicking noise was, but all I saw was a man standing on the beach behind us, dressed in normal day gear.
“Stay here.” His face was all hard and angry. He stomped back out to the man on the sand and started cursing. I couldn’t make out what he was saying besides afuckhere and ashitheadthere. When the man held up a fancy camera and snapped one at Joel, I figured out what he was, and my heart sank.
