“Okay.” I could agree to that. I’d wasted more time on him than I should have already. His fingers ran through my hair, grazing against my cheek.
“You’ve got the world at your feet, Livia. What are you going to do?” he asked in a serious tone. I wish I knew how to answer him, but I didn’t even have the answer for myself.
“I don’t know.”
“You live it.” His finger moved on to trace the line of my nose, then to rub his thumb against my swollen lips.
“You live for those who lost theirs. You live for those years you wandered, not giving life your all. You live for your future. It took me a while to get over the death of my team. The guilt that I lived, and they all died. It may not be what others may want to do with their life, but I’m living it the best I can. You can do whatever makes your heart soar, and gives your soul peace.” He was right, undeniably right.
I leaned in and kissed his lips, thanking him for guiding me on my path to self-discovery.
Chapter Twenty
Killian
We touched, we worshipped, and we fucked. Everywhere. The rest of the day was spent debasing every surface in the cabin, as promised. When her cheeks would flush from thinking about somewhere we had taken one another, it just riled my dick up for more. She’d woken a beast in me. Never had I wanted a woman as much as I wanted her. She was making me completely insatiable. Ever since she told me her story, I couldn’t help but think of places she would love to see. She told me she had never left Florida before this trip. Without my knowing, she’d placed her first sights of the U.S. in my hands. There had been so many experiences I had gained over the years of driving. I had taken to exploring all the states I passed through at least once. But all my time, unless Joel did it with me, I was alone. She had me, and even though we still had a timeline of a month, I would figure out ways to help her realize how much she truly shined.
Lucas stopped by an hour after Livia finished sucking me with her glorious lips. I returned the favor and savored the taste of her sweet sex. She was wild, and I had a nagging feeling she had never given this side of her to anyone but me. I held her in my arms afterwards until she started to yawn, and then fell asleep. I’d say she had earned herself a nap.
“I see you are using the cabin well.” He gave me a knowing smile as I opened the door.
“Thank you.” I took the plate from his hands that he had outstretched towards me.
“It’s cake—Linda and the grandbabies made it.”
“Great.” I set it on the table and turned back to the man who had sort of become a father figure to me.
“She’s a good girl, but has a wild spirit. Like Martha.” I tilted my head to the side. I guess in some ways she was like my grandma.
“Don’t let that girl go, Killian. Women like her are one in a million. Loyal, kind, adventurous, and will love until she takes her final breath.” He was pinning me with a look that told me he knew all about having that type of woman and having lost her as well.
“She goes back to whatever life she wants in almost three weeks. I go back to the road.” The thought of our time ending gave me a sinking sensation in my stomach.
“That girl is your destiny, Killian. Fight it, and deny it all you want. I see what I had with Martha in your eyes. La lumière de votre vie.” Light of your life, he said. He didn’t know just how right that last part was. She was a light in my normal dimmed existence.
“Thanks, Lucas.” I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. She didn’t have a life with me beyond our deal. I doubted she would want anything that I had to give her, long term. Sleeping with me in the truck for the rest of her life? I could give her the temporary enlightenment of traveling, but once the awe faded and her desire for roots supersedes the nomadic life? What then? Her once bright light would be diminished, and I’d be left with a scorched heart.
“La meilleure chose que tu apprendras jamais est d'aimer et d'être aimé en retour.”He put his hand on my shoulder, perhaps to push some of his own life experiences and courage into me. But his words fell upon an already broken mind.
“Remember my words. See me before you leave in the morning, okay?” He gave me a light pat, before turning to leave.
I stood there, wanting to go back to Livia’s sleeping form, and wanting to drink away Lucas’s words of foreshadowing.
Love was something I had never been open to. But if today was any indication of things to come, falling for her would be effortless.
His words played over in my head as I was drawn back to the bed to lie with her.
The greatest thing you’ll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return.
“Nature Boy” by Nat King Cole. My grandma’s theme song for Lucas, the love of her life.
**
“I’m sad we had to leave Montana so soon. Lucas was really sweet. I’d love to see him again.” Livia was curled up in her seat with her drawing pad in her hands, ready to let loose on the paper.
“Maybe one day.” I didn’t want to make any promises.
After Lucas left last night, I held Livia into the night, and then when we woke up this morning, she got in one last playtime in the snow before we went to say goodbye to our host. He gave me his best knowing look, but I ignored it. I heard his words, and I was putting them in a box in my head, not ready to think about them.
