‘Of course you are,’ Carrie said, leaning closer. ‘I would absolutely trust you if I was giving birth.’
‘But I don’t trust myself – with anything.’
‘Have you seen your doctor?’
Jules nodded.
‘She’s the only person I’ve seen in the last few days. She’s signed me off for six weeks. Part of me is relieved and part of me feels really guilty and part of me thinks six weeks isn’t nearly long enough and another part thinks it’s far too long because I just don’t know how to stop thinking about everything.’
‘Which is why I’m taking you back with me, back to the Isle of Wight for as long as you need, where I can look after you and you can learn to believe that one day life will be good again. I don’t want any arguing. Tomorrow the car is booked on the return journey and I’m not getting back on that ferry without you.’
Jules knew that if she was to survive in any way at all, she had to give in. So she leaned her head on Carrie’s shoulder and just whispered, ‘Thank you.’
THREE
‘Almost there,’ Carrie said, as they pulled off the main road and the car meandered past a low redbrick building with a sign outside which read ‘Local Pottery’.
‘That’s an interesting place,’ she continued, ‘and it has a brilliant tearoom with fabulous cakes. One of my favourite beaches isn’t far from here and there’s a track just past that field with the horses in which leads to Tennyson Down. The great poet used to stride along it in his cloak whatever the weather. I never really appreciated Tennyson until I came here. We can take a walk along there when you’re feeling up to it. You won’t have to talk to anyone up there, not even me if you don’t want to. And there’s a great pub which we’ll pass in a minute. We can finish up there for a glass of fizz overlooking the water.’
Jules let Carrie’s enthusiasm wash over her in the hope that it would help her to feel less battered.
‘And here’s the village,’ Carrie said, slowing down for some hens that were drifting from the grass verge into the road. ‘They’re Cressie’s hens. She’s away at the moment so Rita and I are looking after them. Rita, who helps to look after the cottage, lives down there.’
She pointed to a sign which said Orchard Farm in bold letters, a tractor rumbling up the rutted, sun-baked track.
‘That’s Alastair, Rita’s son,’ she said, allowing the large vehicle to pull out into the road. ‘Their farmyard backs on to the cottage garden so there’s a bit of disturbance from the cows and machinery. It’s not all total peace and quiet.’
Jules felt a void of panic open up inside of her.
‘I didn’t realise I’d be staying at the cottage. I thought I’d be staying with you and Guy.’
‘No, and it’s not because we don’t want you so don’t think that. It’s because I think you need some space.’
‘I had that at home.’
‘That was different. This is somewhere new, somewhere special.’
Jules felt her breath starting to stall.
‘I’m not sure I want to be completely on my own, not in a strange place and…’
She swallowed hard. It felt as if there had been a lump in her throat ever since Gavin had left.
‘You haven’t even seen Hideaway Cottage yet. Wait until you see it and then you might change your mind.’
‘I’m sorry, but I can’t afford to pay. Gavin…’
‘Guy doesn’t expect you to pay, Jules, so don’t worry. In fact, if you offered, he’d probably be offended.’
She placed a hand on Jules’s shoulder.
‘You’re family, sweetheart, better than some family,’ she said with a smile. ‘Guy knows that. And if you don’t want to be on your own, I’ll stay with you at the cottage for as long as you like.’
Jules sank back into the seat. She was so lucky. How stupid of her to have nearly blown this friendship. Stupid, stupid, stupid.
They passed the church and The Manor, which Carrie had talked about so much and where Guy worked. Then she turned the car down a single-track lane, protected by high hedges. Asthe road descended Jules could see the sea in the distance and then the cottage straight ahead. With its deeply sloping thatched roof, a small reed sculpture of a border terrier scampering along its ridge, the pale turquoise paintwork and the flower-filled front garden Jules had to admit it was enchanting.
‘Well?’ Carrie asked, grinning as she pulled the car on to a gravel area reserved for parking. ‘Isn’t it better than I described?’
