TWENTY-ONE
‘Did he kiss you?’ Carrie asked as they sat having a coffee in The Manor gardens the following day.
‘No, of course not. Besides, Erin was in the car on the way home.’
‘Bet he’d have kissed you if she wasn’t.’
‘No, he wouldn’t.’
‘He wanted to.’
‘How on earth do you know that?’
‘Because I saw him watching you all evening. His eyes were following you around the room.’
‘That’s probably because he was looking to see who I was talking to, so we didn’t double up.’
‘Nonsense!’
Jules bit her lip.
‘I’ve decided it’s time to go back to Manchester.’
‘Why? I thought you liked it here.’ Carrie cast her a sly glance. ‘I thought you were beginning to like Lance.’
‘Of course I like him. He’s kind and gentle and thoughtful and I love the way that bit of hair on the back of his head won’t lie flat and the fact that his nails are always so immaculate even though he works with paint and clay.’
‘Oh dear, that sounds serious.’
‘I know – and that’s why I’ve got to go. It’s not just Lance, it’s Erin, too. I can’t risk hurting her.’
‘You’re running away.’
‘Yes.’
Jules turned her vintage teacup around in its saucer.
‘Iwanted to kiss him.’
‘Ah!’
‘And he makes me feel safe. I never felt safe with Gavin. I’ve never thought I wanted to feel safe in a relationship before. I always thought it would be boring.’
‘And now?’
‘Safe feels…’
How did it feel? She tried to recapture that contentment from sitting next to him on the jetty, their feet making circular patterns in the water.
‘…accepting. Lance accepts people for who they are. That’s why they feel at ease with him. Gavin wanted to change me. I wanted to change myself for him to be more glamorous, more erudite, more cultured, more organised, more everything.’
‘Sounds like hard work.’
‘It was. I was always running to catch up and never feeling good enough.’
‘And Lance makes you feel good enough?’
‘I think he could if I let him.’
