Carrie leaned over and gave her a hug.
‘Why not stay a bit longer and let him do that? Let us all do that?’
‘I can’t. It’s not fair. I’ll let him down. I let everyone down.’
‘No, you don’t.’
‘I’m not certain if how I feel is real or if it’s just because I’m desperate for someone to love me. And I’m not certain how he feels about me or how long a relationship would last or…’
‘If you’re looking for certainty, you won’t find it,’ Carrie said, feeding some of her cake crumbs to the robin at her feet. ‘Uncertainty is part of life, but surely that’s a reason to take a chance on something or someone because we never know what’s around the corner?’
Jules heard the rumble of a wheelbarrow and saw Guy walking along the path towards the vegetable patch.
‘You were certain about Guy though, about staying here.’
‘As certain as I could be, but not totally. Don’t forget I’d been hurt, too. I was worried that Guy might be a rebound choice, probably like you are. What’s that saying from the Bible? “Do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will worry about itself”, or something like that. Rita would know the exact wording and where it’s from.’
‘I’d like to see Rita before I go.’
‘If you’re really determined to leave, I can’t stop you.’
‘But you could take me to visit Rita. Now she’s on the mend you can ask her a bit more about Philly.’
‘Have you told your mum you’re going back?’
‘Not yet.’
‘She can stay in the cottage if she wants to.’
‘That’s really kind, but you need to be letting that out now. I think she’ll probably want to go home soon and see my sister.’
Carrie drained her cup.
‘Shall I pick you up this afternoon to visit Rita?’
Jules nodded.
‘Are you going to tell Lance you’re leaving?’
‘Yes.’
‘Face to face?’
Jules nodded.
‘In fact, there’s no point in putting this off. If you can drop me at the pottery now, I’ll see if he’s free.’
‘Poor Lance,’ Carrie murmured. ‘I have the feeling you’re just about to ruin his day.’
Lance was in the studio setting out pieces of paper and coloured crayons on low tables. Jules stood in the doorway watching him for a moment, the little crease of concentration between his brows as he stooped, the carelessly rolled up sleeves of his linen shirt about to unravel towards his wrists.
She could imagine his arms wrapped around her waist as he pulled her closer. She blushed as he looked up, sensing that he was being watched.
‘Jules! This is a nice surprise.’
His whole face lit up, the crease between his brows smoothed away to be superseded by wrinkles radiating like the sun’s rays from the sides of his eyes.
‘Children’s party later. It’ll be organised chaos, but hopefully they’ll enjoy it.’ Just as quickly his smile faded. ‘Is everything okay? Is it Rita?’
