Was I?
I mean, that morning—this morning; it was wild to think this was all one single day—was unlike anything I’d ever felt. Literally every other morning after had felt awkward at best, downright shameful and humiliating at worst. I’d never had anyone seemingly get to know me, seemingly try and be friendly with me.
No, no, that didn’t mean anything. It was one time. I had to step back before things got worse. Maybe I could be physically intimate, but not emotionally. Not…
Not…
“Thank you,” I said, just trying to say something to get out of my head.
“Just have an open dialogue and be honest with him,” Hailey said. “I can live with myself some right now knowing we talk about everything. But…it’s still hard. It’s still really hard.”
Melissa and I stood up at the same time, and we gathered in a group hug. Hailey still had a few tears to spill, and she buried her head into us. Melissa started sniffling too. I didn’t cry, but the emotions sure came pretty close.
Everything just felt so messy and off right now.
And yet, every time I thought about Sonny, it made me feel good.
Either Sonny really was that good, or my taste in men was so low and so bad that even just below average felt like heaven right now. I didn’t know what the answer was.
I was kind of terrified to find out.
