“But when I saw him today, just saw him, Shiloh, not even heard him... it was like he was even more attractive,” I said. “He’s more rugged. Before, he was just hot. But now he’s got some years on him. Some experience. It makes him handsome.”
Shiloh started to whimper, and I almost believed it was his way of saying I was being an idiot. But then I saw it was just another dog across the street, and Shiloh stopped whimpering when the dog walked out of sight.
“It’s just sad he said all those things,” I said. “I don’t think he really wants to push me away. At least, I want to believe that that’s not the case. I don’t think the fire ever dies out between two people. Do you, Shiloh?”
Shiloh’s response was to keep walking forward. Call me crazy, call me an animal-obsessed person, but I thought that was just his way of saying what I thought didn’t matter as much as what happened. I could sit there and think of a million reasons why LeCharles and I could still have something, but unless I saw it play out in person, it was nothing more than an ungrounded fantasy.
“I’ve got to see him,” I said. “I know I’m better. I know I need to apologize.”
And then I got an idea.
Just Google the man. See what he’s up to.
I pulled out my phone as I let Shiloh decide which roads to take us down. I typed LeCharles Williamson into my phone and waited for responses to come back.
As it turned out, he was now a mechanic at Carter’s Auto Repairs and a member of a motorcycle club, the Black Reapers. I didn’t really have a reaction to those, other than to wonder if the Black Reapers were a group that would threaten me or welcome me if I tried to make a move on LeCharles.
But then I tried to get some sense into myself. They were probably the motorcycles that were parading around late at night. Did I really want to associate myself with such a crazy group?
Probably not.
But that didn’t mean that my desire to make things right—and maybe, honestly, a little bit more—had faded.
I just felt a little annoyed at how it seemed like all of the obstacles that could be piling up, were piling up.
I turned Shiloh around with the ever-darkening sky, making it to my door just as the sun had completely set, and the eastern part of the sky had turned a navy blue. I unlocked the door, let him run inside, and laid on my air mattress, petting the one boy I hadn’t seemingly ruined things with.
“I just hope I get my chance.”
* * *
When the alarm clock went off the next morning, it did not get any easier waking up at the crack of dawn.
Despite this, I actually felt weirdly positive about how the day would go. I knew from experience that the second day of trying something was always the hardest and most awkward. The first go, whether it was a day at the job or a promising first date, carried with it excitement, hope, and anticipation.
But the second day invariably wiped away those feelings, thrust reality onto a person, and gave them no choice but to take it or leave it. I usually chose to take it, but today, I’d have no choice but to take it. Knowing that made it easier to accept that it would suck being up so early, it would suck not being able to provide the kind of knowledge I knew I could provide, and it would suck not having any positive interactions with LeCharles.
But it was still easier just having that awareness.
I made it to the clinic about ten minutes earlier than last time, and with an actual badge to use, I let myself lounge a bit in the back office, sipping on some coffee before my shift started.
“You didn’t run off!”
I looked up to see a very cheery and excited Dr. Clovis.
“Why would I?” I asked.
“Oh, heavens, dear, you have no idea how many people claim they want to work in a vet hospital, thinking they’ll take care of animals and save the world. And then they learn that they might have to put animals down, or at the very least, a lot of the animals they have love for don’t love them back, and on and on and on and next thing you know... ”
Back to his rambling ways, I see. He must not really realize how little choice I have being here.
“In any case, now that I’ve gotten that all out of the way, can you get Bay C ready for me? We got a little King Charles Cavalier Spaniel coming in. Cute little thing with fluffy ears. Lucky, I believe his name is.”
“Of course.”
“Oh, and before I forget,” Dr. Clovis said.More like before you say something else that prevents you from saying this.“When you see Lucky’s owner, don’t be alarmed. The man looks like Mr. Olympia, but I assure you he’s a very docile and friendly man.”
“Okay,” I said, starting to wonder if LeCharles had somehow gotten himself a small dog in the time that I had left. It would have been out of character, but then again, it sure seemed like we did not have a read on each other’s character as well as we thought we might have. “I’ll make sure of it.”
