She sobbed into the sheet. Gasping for breath, her voice not much more than a strained whisper.
‘We were going to tell the police, then he turned up at the reunion. Dale stopped talking to me for a while. We were all working our way through what had happened and I’m ashamed to say that I shouted at Dale a few times. We needed him to tell the police his story too and he kept backing out.’ She paused. ‘After Ronnie killed Howard, he took pleasure in telling me about what Howard did to Stephanie. He raped her. My stepfather raped my friend and I had no idea. They drugged her.’ Susan flinched and grabbed her throat as she coughed. Her dark greasy curls bouncing with each movement. Gina felt a lump filling her throat.
‘You need to leave her to recover now. I have to intervene, sorry.’ The nurse charged over and began checking the monitor and drip.
‘I’ll come back when you’re feeling a little better.’ As Gina went to open the door, Stephanie appeared. Susan’s friend smiled through the glass and Susan caught sight of her, returning the tiniest of smiles. The nurse made a few notes on a chart and left. Gina sniffed and stared up at the light, trying to hold her emotions back. ‘Come on, Wyre, we best get back to the station.’
Gina glanced through the window. The two women now had each other for comfort and their close friendship would be rekindled. Susan would need a friend with all that was going on at home too.
Gina swallowed. ‘I need to do something. Can I meet you at the station in a while?’
‘Of course, guv. I’ll get started on the paperwork.’
She stopped. ‘You know what? I’m angry for those two women. I’m angry for Dale. I wanted to see them arrested and sent down. They all lived life to the end, not paying for their crimes. That’s not justice.’
‘This case, it’s one of the most sickening I’ve ever come across, guv. They deserved to face their crimes and really, they got away with it.’
Gina glanced back one last time. ‘Look.’
They watched as Stephanie stroked Susan’s hair, their noses touching on the pillow, both women smiling like they were girls again. Gina caught sight of Mary emerging in the distance holding Phoebe’s hand. The little girl in the hospital nightie gave her a wave as she gripped her grandmother’s with her other hand. As they reached Susan’s room, the girl ran in and threw herself onto her mother’s bed. Susan flinched in pain but gripped her child like it didn’t matter one bit.
‘You alright, Driscoll?’
‘Better than you.’ He turned away. ‘Okay, I’m not. That was a bit emotional.’
‘How was Phoebe when you spoke to her?’
‘She’s one kick-ass child.’
‘She is that, come on. Let’s leave this family to recover for a short while. We’ll be back soon to speak to them all again. You two go to the station, get the pizzas in. I don’t know how we’re all still standing.’ Gina checked her watch, it was almost nine in the evening. ‘I have something I need to do first.’ Her heart pounded, threatening to burst from her ribcage. The only way to feel unburdened was to finally let go.
Seventy-Four
Thunder crashed and Gina ran as fast as she could to the grave. The carnations had all but blown away or died. Only one flower was left. She flashed the torch through the bloated raindrops, pointing the light at the carnation’s soggy brown petals. Through everything, the flower had remained in place. There had been hailstones, gale force winds, torrential rainstorms but this little flower had refused to budge. She picked it up and held it to her heart, flinching as lightning brightened the landscape.
Her phone lit up. She fumbled to cut the call off then dropped it in her pocket. There was no way she could talk to Briggs right now. No one could get in the way of what she had to say to her mum.
‘You were right, Mum. I should have listened to you about Terry, but as always, I thought I knew better. You could see, couldn’t you?’ She paused. ‘I’m sorry.’ As rain dripped from her nose onto the wet concrete slab underneath, she kneeled and pressed her cheek against the gravestone. ‘Please forgive me.’
Thunder rumbled again and Gina’s heart throbbed in her windpipe as her mind forced her back to that night. ‘I killed him, Mum. I pushed him down those stairs. He was hurting me. I thought he was going to kill me. I didn’t mean to kill him, I just pushed him and he died. He would have killed me, Mum.’ Thunder clashed again and she laughed. ‘I’m not scared of you any more, Terry! Go to hell.’
She curled up against the stone, shivering with chattering teeth and a tear slid down her cheek, then another until she could contain herself no longer. She bawled like never before as she thought about her mother, finally accepting the forgiveness that was on offer. This tiny flower that remained. She didn’t believe in signs from above but that flower gave her comfort. Deep down, she only had to forgive herself.
Freezing to her core, she thought of the others at the station, her police family. The pizzas would be with them, they’d be wrapping up the case as they ploughed through the paperwork. They’d be celebrating Susan and Phoebe’s return and she wondered if it was realistic to think she could join them. Soaking wet, she knew she looked more like she needed a hot bath and a cup of cocoa. A grin spread across her face. She lay there for ages, enjoying the peace until she was soaked through.
‘When I get home, I’m going to make cocoa, just like you used to make it. I’m going to boil the milk in a pan and add two spoonfuls of cocoa and lots of sugar.’ She sniffled and let out an almighty sob. Thunder had all of a sudden become her companion, drowning out her cries. ‘I’m not scared,’ she yelled.
She’d have to leave soon, go back to a buzzing department wrapped up in post-case glory and celebrations. She’d been so long, she wouldn’t be surprised if a few of them had gone.
A light shone in the distance, dazzling her. ‘Gina?’ Briggs removed his coat and placed it over her shoulders.
‘How did you know I was here?’ she asked, teeth chattering.
He held his phone up. ‘I knew where your mother was buried and I followed the light.’ He pointed at her torch.
‘But how did you know I was at my mother’s grave?’No, she couldn’t have…
Trembling, she pulled her phone from her pocket. She’d pocket dialled him back and the call was still open. All this time, he’d been listening. She held her breath and began to gasp. ‘You heard?’
