‘A husband wouldn’t treat her the way you did. You’re not fit to call yourself that. You leave her alone, you hear me?’
He nudged Mary out of the way and peered through the little window. He waved at Susan as he pulled his scarf out of his bomber jacket. She turned away.
Mary and Ryan locked eyes. ‘Be careful how you treat my daughters, both of them. I’ll be watching you closely.’
His shoulder twitched as he gave Mary a stern look. ‘What?’
‘I know about Harrison. We won’t be having any more lies or secrets in this family, do you hear me?’
‘Dammit.’ He clenched his fists and held them to his temples. ‘You can’t tell her. Look at her.’
‘I already have. With what she’s been through, she deserves to know the truth. I know my daughter and I know she wouldn’t have thanked me for keeping that to myself. I’ll never risk losing either of them. Only when we know the truth can we truly move on. I can’t have my family torn apart any more and you need to step up for Harrison. Do you hear me?’
He shuffled back. ‘I’m sorry you had to find out like this. I know you don’t believe me but I’ll do whatever I can.’
‘In this case, actions are going to speak louder than words. You may have charmed both of my daughters but I can see right through you. Susan and Clare can too. You hurt either of them again and you won’t walk straight ever. D’you hear me? I’ll crush your balls. Men like you don’t scare me.’
Gina turned to her side and smiled.
‘I didn’t set out for this to happen. Give me a break. I have a daughter in A&E.’
‘Who’s looking after the kids? I damn well hope you haven’t left them on their own.’
‘My mum is there with the family liaison officer.’
Gina took a step back and pretended to watch the world go by while Mary continued to give Ryan a stern talking to.
‘I know about you shouting at her all the time, throwing things and you hit her, it might have only been the once but that was one too many times. Yes, she told me everything. As I said, no more secrets.’
‘I—’
‘Don’t you dare say another word because all I ever hear coming out of your mouth are lies.’ She walked off ahead of Ryan. Gina clenched her fists, with all that Susan was going through Ryan had been hurting her too. Gina hoped through the course of interviewing that Susan would open up about that too. She swallowed as she thought about how she had barely opened up about her past and the very thought of it still terrified her. She let out a little smile. Susan had found the strength to end their relationship. She had a lot of hope for Susan.
A nurse passed with a covered kidney dish, another dragged a trolley full of instruments. Gina took a deep breath as she pushed Susan’s door open.
Seventy-Three
Susan gently touched her raw throat and spoke in a croaky voice. ‘Mum told me about Howard.’ She sniffled and wheezed.
Gina wondered whether she meant that he was dead or that he was an abuser.
‘I had no idea what he did… back then. I’d never even seen or met him all those years ago. Ronnie was blackmailing him because of something he did and I saw him plunge the knife… I know what Howard did to Stephanie back then, he told me,’ she spluttered and took a sip of water as she clamped her eyes shut. ‘He was going to kill me and take Phoebe away…’ She opened her eyes and began hyperventilating.
‘It’s okay, just take it easy, Mrs Wheeler. There’s no rush.’ Susan began to fidget. Gina and Wyre both helped her to adjust her pillows.
‘Collins from now on.’ She forced a slight smile out as sweat trickled down her forehead. ‘I have to tell you this.’ She looked away and blinked back another tear. ‘I didn’t want to run away when I was fourteen, not the first time. He took me, Ronnie.’ She coughed and gasped until she regained her breath. ‘Up north, he had a static caravan. I was pregnant.’
‘I’m sorry to ask you this. Was the baby Ronald Halshaw’s?’
She nodded and pulled the sheet closer to her chest. ‘He told me we had to leave. I didn’t want to go.’ Tears trickled down her cheeks. ‘He made me get in his car and he drugged me with something. I don’t remember the journey, I just remember waking up to find myself tied up on a bed and I was bleeding. He blamed me for killing the baby after I miscarried. He said I owed him one because it was my fault his wife had left with his daughter. I had to tell her, I didn’t know what to do. She didn’t believe me, shouting and telling me to get out, but she left him soon after. He said I’d have to pay.’ She gripped the blanket and turned to her side, flinching as she wiped her damp cheeks.
Gina placed a hand on her shoulder. ‘I know this is hard.’
‘Several days later, I managed to escape. I hitchhiked all the way home and he followed. He said if I said anything, people would just think I was a little slut for getting pregnant as he’d deny everything. I was so ashamed and I hated myself. I didn’t want to be different at school. I didn’t want to be the kid who’d been molested by this ugly, dirty man. I felt as though it would make me ugly and dirty.’ She coughed several times. Gina passed her the water. ‘I’d stopped bleeding but my stomach was cramping like never before so I went to the hospital, giving them Clare’s details – she was older. No one would quiz Clare. They scanned me and told me that there was no tissue left behind. I had a follow-up appointment at the doctors and that was it. I carried on with life.’
Susan sniffled into the sheet.
‘I carried on as best I could. I should have told Mum but I couldn’t. She was struggling after Dad died. Mum was angry that I’d run away. I told her I’d been with friends. I ran away many times after that. Sometimes it got too much and I couldn’t deal with things. I stayed in old houses around the area, places where no one lived. I just needed to be alone. The thoughts in my head were too loud – I just wanted to shut them out. Mum would ask questions, too many questions and I couldn’t face them all the time. Now she knows everything. I wish I’d told her then. If I had, all this would never have happened and Dale would still be alive.’
