“What’s going on, buddy? Why are you out here so early?”
Bear sank into his arms, his breathing labored.
Justin looked around for any signs of why his dog would’ve been out there. He spotted tire tracks, tracing around the side of the barn. They couldn’t have been his own. He didn’t bring his truck around that way. The morning was foggy after the clouds had poured the night before. The dirt wouldn’t have picked up the tracks so easily if it hadn’t been for the mud created by the rain.
Justin didn’t like it, but there was no one around now, and he needed to take care of his friend. He picked him up and carried him back to the house. He gently laid him on the couch, then curled up next to him. He’d known something was going on over the past month or so. Bear wasn’t as active as usual, but he just chalked it up to his age. He visited the vet yearly and seemed to be in good health otherwise, but Justin saw the decline.
“Hey!” Her sweet voice chimed as Blythe came down the staircase. “Is everything alright? Where was Bear? He wasn’t in his bed when I got up…”
Justin looked over his shoulder at her and knew the emotion on his face was a dead giveaway.
“He was outside by the barn. I don’t know why he was out there, but he was moving slow and he’s really shaky. He didn’t have the strength, so I carried him back.” Justin paused before continuing, “He’s ten years old, Blythe. Most bloodhounds live between ten and twelve, if they’re lucky. I knew this was coming.” His voice cracked as he tried to shove it all back down.
He watched Blythe pet Bear’s head, belly, and paws. He felt her arms come around him, her attempt at giving him the comfort she undoubtedly knew he needed. He could see she was nearly crying herself as she asked him what he was going to do.
“I’ll take him to see Doctor Shaw. He usually takes walk-ins. Would you please reschedule the few clients I have today? We can probably split them up and still fit them in this week somewhere, right?”
Blythe nodded and stood to go find her phone. Justin continued to hold his best friend, who’d been there for the last decade of his life—knowing this might not end inhappily ever afterfor them.
Bear lay on the bench seat next to him in the cab of his truck as they drove into town. Justin talked to him like always—told him how much he loved him, what a good friend and companion he’d been, and that everything was going to be okay.
They arrived at the veterinarian clinic, and luck was on their side. Doctor Shaw had a cancellation that morning and was able to fit them right in. He examined Bear and attached the monitors for an echocardiogram.
“This will tell us if there’s been any damage to his heart, from a myocardial infarction.”
Justin gave him an incredulous look. “I needmedical terms for dummies, Doc… I didn’t go to school for this.”
“A heart attack,” Doctor Shaw stated matter-of-factly. Although, Justin could see the compassion on his face, as well.
Justin stared at the computer screen as the exam was taking place, mildly dissociating because he didn’t want this to be real. He told himself it was all going to be okay and that Bear was just having a bad day. Surely, those zig-zag lines looked normal.
When the doctor clicked his final button to print out the results, his face was not encouraging. He retrieved the paper from the printer that was attached to the machine and stared at it, probably solidifying what he already knew to be true.
“Justin, your dog has most definitely had a heart attack. With the damage I am seeing here, it most likely wasn’t the first one.”
Justin let out a chest of air and tipped his head back to look at the ceiling. “So, what is the verdict, Doc? Where do we go from here? Do I just take him home and keep him comfortable? Is there a medication he can take?”
Surely, there was something they could do that wouldn’t take his friend from him that day. Surely, Bear had a little more time. He watched as the doctor petted Bear’s coat and lifted his droopy eyelids to shine a flashlight in them. His dog was barely responsive, but it was probably just because he was tired, wasn’t it?
“I’m so sorry, Justin—but as a vet who’s seen animals in his state more times than I can even count…the most respectful and humane path moving forward would be the one I know you desperately do not want to take.”
Justin left Blythe at home to manage the few phone calls he needed taken care of and to finish up the invoices left over from the other day. Now, he regretted telling her that he would be fine and probably bringing Bear home in a little while. He needed her. He pulled out his phone and tapped her name on the top of his favorites list.
“Hey, sugar. Um…Bear isn’t going to be coming home with me today.” A tiny sob escaped with his last word. “Would you be able to come down here and be with us while we say goodbye?”
“I’m coming!” She told him she was grabbing her keys and would be there as fast as her car could take her. Justin hung up the phone and looked at the doctor, still comforting his best friend.
“I’ll go prepare everything. You take your time, and when you’re ready just open the door and I’ll be right in.”
Justin watched the doctor exit the room. When he did, he let his tears flow. It was rare that he shed a tear outside of his sleep. He felt as healed as a person could be from the trauma of his childhood—consciously anyway. But this was going to be an entirely new and unwanted experience to deal with. He always thought Bear would simply fall asleep, warm on his bed, content and old as can be. He never imagined it would be like this, having to make the decision to end his lifein the most humane way,as the doc had put it.
Bear was practically asleep and giving deep breaths of exhaustion with every rise and fall of his abdomen. A knock came from a door, opposite of the one he’d watched the doctor use. He opened it to see the most beautiful face on earth. She stepped inside as he pulled her to him in a desperate embrace. Her own sobs mingled with his as they held each other for what seemed like minutes on end. When they finally let go, Blythe went to Bear’s side and bent to kiss him on the bridge of his nose. She said her own words of farewell and love before stepping back and allowing Justin the rest of his time to say whatever was left on his heart.
Justin crouched down and pressed his nose to the soft brown one in front of him.
“You’ve been my rock when there was no one else. The day I saw that kid pull you out of that cardboard box in the parking lot, I knew we were soulmates. You were meant for me, and I’d like to think I was meant for you, too.”
His sobs became more audible with each word.
