“No.” I stood up and walked over to the door. “I’ll go.” I opened the door and started to leave, but I turned around and looked at Denise. “I really am sorry. That was out of line.”
Once again, she just shrugged. “Like I said. I’m used to it.”
“I don’t want you to be used to it,” I responded.
She scoffed. “Odd coming from someone who just did it.”
That left me without a retort. I turned around and walked out the door, lamenting my decision-making. I peeked out to the street when I got to the door, but the cop was gone, so I made my way out to my car and started it up, but I ended up only sitting there.
I was supposed to be Denise’s refuge, but I just made everything worse. Maybe she was better off without me.
Chapter Ten:Denise
The early morning sun shone in through the windows above the bed in the studio and woke me up against my will. My gut reaction was to do a quick scan of the apartment to see if Ashton had snuck back in in the middle of the night, but the studio was totally empty apart from me. I sat up in the bed, stretched my arms high above my head, and grabbed my phone. Along with a few texts from my siblings was another apology from Ashton.
The reality was, I saw the way Ashton’s hands shook as he held a gun on me. I saw how quickly his expression turned when he realized what he was accusing me of wasn’t landing. The sad, apologetic face he donned when he realized I was associating him with everyone else in my life was like that of a little kid who’d just been caught stealing a piece of candy. I wasn’t really upset with Ashton, because I expected that behavior would eventually come out. If anything, I was most disappointed because he actually believed that I was that stupid to go to the police.
Still, it did seem a little odd that the police were randomly showing up right after we started using the safe house. Between Carmine and Illiana being so close and the police snooping around, there was more than one issue that I had to look into. Hopefully, I could secure some information that could help unravel these growing mysteries and keep me safe. Talking to my mom yesterday made one thing abundantly clear to me.
I wanted to live.
There was a version of my life where I felt good about myself and the people around and where the decisions I have to make are the ones that are best for me and aren’t coming from some self-preserving mob boss who’s calling the shots. For a while, I’d believed that Ashton could be a part of that life, but I wasn’t sure he was up to the task after last night. It takes a lot to stick by someone, even when the world is up against them, and as soon as he felt a little too much pressure, he caved. When I thought for a second that he was proposing to me, I actually let my mind wander to what that life might be like, but if he was already demoting me to sibling-status, it probably wasn’t long before I fell further down the ladder to being an expendable pawn.
Not anymore.
While sitting in bed, I set a few goals for myself. First, I needed to find out what the connection between Illiana and Carmine was about. It didn’t make sense that he was her right hand, and it was clear that the Carduccis had picked up on that as well. It wasn’t Illiana who I believed was up to something in that relationship. It was Carmine. When I found out my mom’s true motives, it drove me off the rails, so why wouldn’t it do the same to him? Maybe there was something there I could work with.
Second, I needed to work with Bennett to get to the bottom of what was going on with the police at the safe house. It wasn’t like I could tell anyone about the safe house or why I was there, but it would be integral to keep my eyes and ears open to see if I could figure that out. The police showed up at the safe house for the first time after I’d already re-entered the Costa household, which meant one thing and one thing only.
Someone, somewhere, was bugged.
Whether they knew the cops were onto them or not, someone I’d interacted with, either in the Carducci household or in the Costa household, already had a police tail. Given that Bennett was already looking into the police when I arrived, I was inclined to think it was him, but if that was the case, they would have known something was up when we did a stakeout at Detective Alcina’s house. There were several dots. I just had to connect them.
Third, and potentially most important, I had to determine my own way out. Killing Illiana for Anthony’s gain got me nowhere. It just freed me from one cage to land me in another one. Killing Anthony for Illiana’s gain did the same. Even if I truly believed I’d never become too far removed from this life I was born into, I needed to find my Maine Escape, just like the Varassos did. I never wanted any of this, and more than anything, I wanted out. What that looked like had yet to become clear to me, but that was what I constantly needed to be pointing toward—a way out.
After centering my mind a little bit, I flipped the blankets back and climbed out of bed. I scooped up the overnight bag I’d packed and headed into the bathroom to start the shower. As the water washed over me, I had to admit that when I’d come to the safe house the night before, I’d halfway expected things to move forward with Ashton. His behavior was unexpected and unacceptable, but if he hadn’t done any of that, I probably would have pushed the envelope a little bit. I was still riding the high of my successful con against Detective Alcina and found myself leaning into the idea of a little bit ofcelebration.
“Idiot,” I hissed aloud. Why did he have to pick yesterday, of all days, to flip? If he could have just waited another day or two, I could have at least gotten a little bit of sex out of him.
Not that it was what I wanted, at the end of the day.
After my shower, I got dressed in a simple, comfortable pink sundress, put my hair up into a ponytail on top of my head, collected my items, and left the safe house. Before walking all the way out, I took a little bit of time to peek up and down the street to see if I saw anyone that looked like they could be a cop, but there was no one that I could see. Still, I was expeditious as I headed to Cherri’s car, and I made a mental note to switch cars before I came back to the safe house, just in case.
I couldn’t shake Ashton out of my brain for the entire car ride back to the Costa household, which worsened when I got home. Carmine was quick to approach me and ask, “So, is the friend you spent last night with the one that we talked about?”
As much as I really wanted to tell him to mind his own business, I knew a bit of gab with Carmine could be a good thing. It might make it seem less suspicious when I started to ask questions about how he came into his particular position of power. “It was,” I admitted, “but it didn’t go the way I hoped it would.”
Carmine was munching away at a bowl of fruit, and he and I were the only ones at the dining room table. “What happened?”
I didn’t respond right away. Something had caught my eye, and it snatched my attention way more than what he was asking. The bowl of fruit that Carmine was eating had lots of colorful, juicy-looking grapes, watermelon chunks, and pineapples on top. He lifted a piece of the pineapple, however, and beneath it was a piece of kiwi. I watched as he stuck his fork back into the bowl of fruit, stabbed it into the kiwi, and set it into his mouth.
“Denise? Are you hungry?” He pushed the bowl toward me. “Have some.”
“Oh, no, thank you. I spaced out for a little bit. Sorry.”
He tilted his head. “Thinking about last night?”
My entire body started to prickle with curiosity as Carmine shoved another piece of kiwi into his mouth. “Yeah.”
