Chapter Six: Annika
Ihave no idea what came over me, or why I even went there with Stephan, but I’d be lying if I didn’t say that it felt good to escape my reality even if it was just for a little while. I promised myself even before Natalia and I threw that party that I was going to start going after the things I wanted, that I wouldn’t allow my fear to hold me back. It has been a very long time since I’ve been touched like that, cared for like that, and I let my emotions and adrenaline get the best of me.
I don’t know how to explain how wonderful it felt to feel his hands all over me, to forget about all of the trauma I’d been through last night, and just enjoy it. It’s exactly the kind of thing Natalia was hoping would happen for both of us at the party, but even now I don’t think that sharing the details of my little rendezvous is going to sit well with her.
She may have only known Adrian for a little while, but she was the most broken I’d ever seen her. I can’t let my attraction to Stephan overwhelm me right now. I need to focus on getting my life back in order.
Natalia slept in nearly the entire next day, and I laid next to her, scrolling through my phone, sending another text message to my mother letting her know that everything was alright. The house was quiet when I eventually had a shower and made it downstairs to find all three of them sitting at the island having their dinner. It was an eerily normal situation considering the fact that they just buried their friend the night prior.
I still have a lot to learn about how criminals process their guilt. I never once saw my father feel anything of the sort, and I’m starting to think that this is how things work when you spend your life engaging in these acts.
I’d be lying if I said there wasn’t the slightest bit of thrill involved. There was a strange kind of excitement that I felt while staying there under their roof, trying to figure out where I’m headed next. It was the first time I was ever offered any sort of freedom, and I knew that it wasn’t going to last for long, but I wanted nothing more than to be a little reckless for a change.
After watching one of Stephan’s friends bleed out on my kitchen floor, and having to deal with cleaning all of that up, I began to feel like I was capable of processing a lot more of what it was like being a part of this world. My father had always tried to keep me in the dark until he’d decide when he wanted to start divulging his secrets, but I didn’t want to wait anymore.
If the strange connection I felt with Stephan was an indication of anything, it was that I needed to start taking charge of my own life for a change.
I heard my phone buzz in my pocket later that evening, curled up on the couch with a cup of tea in my hand, realizing that I had completely forgotten about my real estate agent who was supposed to show up at my house to give me the key to the new gallery.
Shit.I thought, when I recognized the number, feeling incredibly guilty.
“Hello, Annika? I’m sorry if this is a bad time, or if something happened, but I showed up at your house last night and no one was answering the door. I got a bit held up at the office and was late, and you must’ve been asleep, but I do need to get these keys to you,” she said, fumbling over her words.
“Oh my God, I am so sorry. I had a bit of a family emergency, and I got so caught up rushing around that I completely forgot. If it would be easier, I can stop by your office first thing in the morning to get them,” I said, offering up a solution because I didn’t want anyone to get near the truth of what happened at my home last night.
“I’m sorry to hear that, Ms. Novikova. That sounds perfect, I’ll see you tomorrow,” she said, and I hung up, sighing loudly.
I got so swept up in all of this mess that I completely forgot I was almost at the edge of achieving everything I’ve ever wanted. I remember the day I decided I wanted to start looking for a place to open my gallery, and now everything seems so bleak. I’m not even sure if that’s in the cards for me anymore.
I felt a presence behind me, and I turned around to see Stephan standing there with a worried look on his face.
“Do you really think it’s a good idea to head out right now after what happened only last night?” he asked, and I could tell that he was trying to be nice, but even after what happened, I found myself desperately trying to cling onto whatever felt normal in my life.
“I have to get those keys, and I have to get back to living my life, Stephan. I can’t hide out here for four days, go completely off the grid like you criminals do. It’s not in my nature, and it never was.”
“I’m just trying to offer some help, Annika. I know you’ve been through a lot in such a short amount of time. I’m worried that something is going to happen to you. I know how these things go, and if those people who broke in know who you are, this cannot possibly end well,” he said, and his words only made me angry.
“So, what exactly do you expect that I do, Stephan? Sit around here, pretend like you and your friends aren’t out there robbing people blind, until it’s safe enough for me to return home where my parents can continue to call the shots for the rest of my life? This gallery was my way out of all of that, it was going to be the move that finally made everyone see I’m capable of living my own life,” I said, and he nodded his head.
“I know that you want to get back to living a normal life, Annika, but you have to be prepared for what’s to come if you are in any real danger. I will go with you to the office to pick up the keys tomorrow, and then you’re going to give me twenty-four hours to find out if someone is out there trying to hurt you. I promise you that if I don’t find anything, I’ll let you get back to your life, and I’ll continue to help any way I can. I care about you, Annika. I’m not going to let you put yourself in harm’s way.”
It was strange to hear it from his lips that he had already begun to care about me because it was something I had started to feel myself, but I was afraid of acknowledging it.
I was scared to go on living my life like normal knowing what I did, but I didn’t know what else to do. As we stood, Stephan and I were still strangers, and if this experience taught me anything, it was that I had to be careful about who I trusted.
He really did seem to want to protect me, and right now that was much better than me trying to go at this on my own, especially if the break-in had any connection to my father.
I knew enough about the crime world to know how easy it would be for someone to snatch me up and demand my father pay for my safe return.
I couldn’t stop thinking about what Stephan had said about my father not having any security stationed in front of the house, especially in his line of work, and now I was starting to even doubt the man that had raised me.
I feel so lost right now, but I have to keep my head held high, because the minute I let myself slip up, it could be the end of me as I know it. I’m not ready to give up yet, but I’m going to have to demand that they let me fight harder.
Somewhere along the line, I’m going to find middle ground between my two complicated worlds, but I’m just not sure which of them is going to capture most of my attention.
Stephan sat next to me on the couch, taking the empty teacup from my hands and placing it on the coffee table so we could have a proper chat. There was still so much that I didn’t know about him, so much that was left up in the air because we were too busy caught up in feeling something other than the pain and tragedy from last night.
I wanted to hear his story, I wanted to know why he got so involved in this life, but he was the only one that was going to fill me in, and I wasn’t going to push him until he was ready.
