Instead, she replied, “It’s all right. I’m here now, and the past will stay forgotten.”
He looked relieved and set the bowl down on the ground. “Good. I was hoping . . . that you would stay here with us while we rebuild.”
His eyes lingered upon her, and his intentions were clear. Morren fought the urge to shudder. The question bothered her for where else could she go? It was either here, with her kinsmen, or she could possibly go back with Jilleen to the Moriarty clan where her sister had been fostered. The idea of becoming a burden on another clan didn’t appeal to her.
And Trahern was going to leave, soon enough.
She risked a glance back at him. There was a tension in his body, as though he wanted to come over and drag Adham away. Yet, he didn’t move.
He was the one who’d wanted her to begin anew. No doubt Adham was a reliable man, one who would ensure that she had everything she needed. But if he learned anything about her past, he’d be appalled. He wouldn’t understand her reasons for what she’d done.
Whereas Trahern didn’t blame her at all. He knew everything, and he hadn’t turned away from her. That was the difference. Being here with Adham felt like a lie, and the longer she endured his company, the worse she felt.
The women had begun to clear away the evening meal, and Morren bid Adham good night, excusing herself to work alongside Katla and Jilleen. She lingered among them, falling into their shadow. But she was aware of Trahern’s presence and the way he kept a close watch over her.
When she followed the women back to one of the completed shelters, she saw Trahern leave his place by the fire. The men went to the other hut, speaking of their plans to start repairing a third shelter in the morning.
He started to walk toward her but stopped short. For a brief moment, he met her gaze. She wanted to follow the women, to hide from his notice.
Instead, he approached her, keeping a safe distance away. “I’m sorry for what I did earlier. I never meant—“
“It’s all right.” She didn’t want to hear regrets or excuses for why he’d kissed her.
“It wasn’t all right.” His gray eyes darkened with remorse. “And I want you to know, it won’t happen again.”
The frost in his tone was bitter, like the night air. She didn’t know how to respond, so she simply nodded. An unexpected bleakness filled up inside her. Though days ago, he’d been a stranger to her, there was a bond between them of shared grief.
“I know . . . it’s difficult for you to be here,” she murmured. “Remembering Ciara.” She looked into his eyes, hoping he would understand the regret she held in her heart.
When he turned away, she couldn’t stop the tear that slid down her cheek.
Morrenwascryingagain.Jilleen wondered if her sister even knew that it happened every night. Or at least, it had for the past few months. Though Morren was curled up on her side, her cheeks were stained with wetness, her arms clenched around her waist.
If her sister’s fate had happened to her, would she suffer such grief, night after night? Jilleen didn’t know, but the guilt crossed over her like a dark shadow.
This was my fault, she thought. None of it would have happened to Morren, if she’d managed to escape her captors.
That night, flames had soared into the night sky, burning down the huts. The choking scent of smoke and death surrounded the place. And the screams of the dying had drowned out her own cries for help.
But Morren had heard her. Weaponless and unprotected, she’d faced the men and had made the ultimate sacrifice. Because of Morren’s choice, Jilleen had escaped unharmed.
Her own tears dampened her cheeks as the self-blame descended. She’d been such a coward, failing her sister. If only she could go back and change things, she’d have done something. Maybe stolen a weapon and attacked while they weren’t looking. Something.
Reaching out to her sister, Jilleen held Morren’s hand. Morren’s eyes flickered open, worry filling them up when she saw Jilleen’s tears. “What is it?”
“You were crying.” Jilleen squeezed her fingers, then wiped her own tears away. “Another nightmare?”
Morren nodded. “Did something happen?”
“No. I’m fine. Just . . . worried about you.”
Morren pulled her into a fierce hug. “You don’t worry about me, Jilleen. Everything will be fine now. We’re safe.”
But Jilleen knew that wasn’t true. Until her sister’s nightmares stopped, nothing would be fine. And if there was anything she could do to make the past go away, she’d do it. Without question.
A strange sense of power filled her up inside, replacing the fears. Maybe being brave wasn’t the lack of fear, but the determination to act, instead of running away.
Jilleen laid down beside Morren, feeling better. She couldn’t change what had happened in the past. But perhaps she could change her sister’s future.
