He lifted his hand to her cheek, warming it. “You’re wrong.” The words came forth, intending to reassure her. But it startled him to realize that it wasn’t a lie. Something about Morren Ó Reilly had slipped past his shielded anger.
Her fair hair gleamed in the firelight, her lips slightly parted. He wondered what it would be like to kiss a woman like her, to satisfy the human need to touch.
Gods, but it had been so long since he’d embraced a woman. Despite the protests rising in his brain, his body began to respond. He wanted to pull his hand away, but if he did, she would misinterpret the reason.
He saw the uncertainty and guilt on her face. “You’re not to blame for what they did.”
She shook her head. “Yes, I am.”
“How can you say that?”
“Because it was my choice.” She stepped back from him, tightening her arms around her waist. “I told the men that I wouldn’t fight them. That they could do as they wished to me.”
Trahern felt as though a barrel of ice water had been poured over him. He couldn’t believe the words she’d spoken. But the calm serenity on her face revealed the truth of Morren’s words. And suddenly, he understood why. “It was to save Jilleen, wasn’t it? They were going to hurt your sister.”
“I took her place so she could escape,” Morren admitted. “By the time they’d finished with me, they’d forgotten about her.” A brittle strength tightened in her face. “I don’t regret my choice.”
He didn’t know what to say. Her bravery and sacrifice were greater than anything he’d ever heard of. Few women would do such a thing, surrendering their virtue for a loved one.
His silence made her turn away. “And now you understand.”
“I do.” But he wouldn’t let her denigrate herself any more. “And I still don’t blame you for it.” He pointed out to the fields, lifting the torch higher to reveal the remaining grain that stood undamaged, amid the ashes. “Sometimes what has been ruined can be rebuilt. And new life can emerge.”
When she turned back to him, he saw the tears on her face. “I want to forget what happened to me.”
He looked into her eyes, trying to offer comfort. “I don’t know if you’ll forget. But one day, you’ll be able to move past it and find happiness. I believe that.”
The look in her eyes said she didn’t agree. With his hand, he wiped her tears away, sliding his fingers into her hair. He lowered his forehead to hers, and in the silence, he could hear her breathing.
The warmth of her skin against his own seemed to push away his common sense. He acted on instinct, and seconds later, his mouth brushed against hers in an unexpected kiss. Light and unthreatening, he’d done it without thinking. It was meant to comfort her, nothing more. But the soft warmth of her mouth had evoked an unexpected connection with her. For a single, frozen moment, she’d filled up the emptiness.
Morren pulled away from him, her face pale.
“I’m sorry,” he said. Without another word, he took her hand and began leading her back to cashel with the others. Inside, his mind was roaring with self-condemnation. She’d given him her worst secret of all, and he’d undermined that trust by forcing a kiss she hadn’t wanted.
It was tempting to go and bash his own head against a wall. Idiot. He should leave right now before he did anything worse.
As Morren joined her sister at the fire, he kept himself apart, granting her space. She sat beside Jilleen, hardly touching the stew Katla gave her. She didn’t meet his eyes, and he hung back, not knowing what to say or do. It took the greatest restraint he possessed to remain seated when Adham Ó Reilly approached her.
“MayIsitwithyou?” Adham asked.
Morren hesitated but could see no reason why she shouldn’t speak to him. He’d done nothing wrong. With a quick glance over at Trahern, she saw that he was no longer watching her. Her cheeks warmed, and she nodded to Adham. “If you like.”
Right now, she needed a distraction. Anything to take her mind off the stolen kiss. It had happened so quickly, she was certain Trahern had done it without thinking. It was a gesture meant to comfort, the same as the embrace a friend would offer.
But something had changed between them. The kiss, as light as a snowflake, had melted into her skin. Her lips felt warm, even now, remembering the brush of Trahern’s mouth upon hers. Undemanding, as though she were a woman to be savored.
He’d awakened feelings that had lain dormant for so long, she didn’t realize she was still capable of feeling the faint stirrings of desire.
A part of her wanted to cry right now. She hadn’t believed Trahern when he’d said her life wasn’t over because of that night. For so long, she’d felt the chains of shame weighing her down. He knew everything now, her most ragged secrets bared before him.
And yet, he’d understood why she’d protected Jilleen. It was something she’d never expected.
Morren wrenched her attention back to Adham, who had chosen a seat beside her. He held an empty bowl that had once contained stew, and it appeared that he was rehearsing his speech, trying to decide what to say.
Finally, he admitted, “MacEgan was right. I should have searched for you.”
I’m glad you didn’t, she thought to herself. She didn’t want anyone to know about her pregnancy or what she’d endured.
