“What happened toyou,Juliette?” He deliberately used her first name again, wanting to remind her of the days when they’d been close friends, hardly more than adolescents.
She closed her eyes, crossing her hands around her waist. “You’re a good man, Dr. Fraser. And you deserve so much more than a woman like me.” Juliette braved a smile before she returned outside, leaving him to wonder about the secrets she held.
Juliette returned to her sister’s wedding, feeling as if Dr. Fraser had already guessed her shame. Seeing him there, so handsome and strong, had made her heart weaken. But she was scarred by the past, and if Paul learned of it, he would turn away from her in disgust.
Worse, he wanted children. Her heart bled at the thought, for he would make a wonderful father. She could easily imagine him holding a son’s hand, taking him for a walk across the glen or telling him stories before bedtime.
You can never give him children,her conscience warned.It’s best to let him go.
Inside, she raged at the unfairness of it all. It was as if someone had severed the ribbons that bound up her dreams, letting them spill to the ground.
A thousand if-onlys wouldn’t change the past. Nor could she allow the anger to consume her. It would only eat away at her spirit, transforming her into a bitter woman.
No, she would remain strong and steadfast in her vow to remain a spinster. Paul would live his life, and she would remain wedded to numbers and accounts.
Her traitorous, foolish heart thought that was a terrible idea. What were numbers, compared with a Highlander who took her breath away? Although the years had distanced her from Paul, he’d never faltered in his friendship. But it wasn’t friendship he wanted now.
She could see that in the way he’d watched her, as if he could see through her words to the secrets she held inside. He’d grown taller, and his body was lean and muscled. When he’d touched her, the warmth of his palms had made her pulse quicken.
She’d expected it to be awkward and strange, after so many years. Instead, from the moment she’d seen him, Paul Fraser was a threat. Not only because he cared for her… but also because he’d conjured up feelings she never wanted to face.
He might have stolen a kiss, if she’d encouraged him. She might have allowed it, if she were still an innocent.
Juliette blinked back the tears, ignoring the ache within her. She leaned back against the wall, wondering what she should do. The wisest move would be to push Paul away, to refuse to see him again, as she’d done already. But seeing him again after so many years had only pried open the door holding back her rage at being ruined.
Another woman might hide the truth, pretending to be a virgin, leading Paul down a path to marriage. But she was irrevocably broken, and it would be unfair to him, leading him to believe in lies.
She exhaled a slow stream of breath, freezing back the dormant feelings. Gathering her control until no one would see her discomposure.
Her older sister Margaret crossed the room to come nearer. “Are you all right? Dr. Fraser didn’t do anything to upset you, did he?” Though her sister didn’t chastise her, Juliette knew that Margaret disapproved of a woman and a man meeting alone. It wasn’t at all proper, even though she’d known Paul since she was fourteen.
“No, I’m fine.” Turning her attention back to their eldest sister, she remarked, “Toria looks lovely, doesn’t she? I’m happy for her.”
The wedding had been simple, a gathering at home while their eldest sister had married the man she had come to love. When the Duke of Worthingstone had gazed at his bride, they’d all seen the appreciation in his eyes.
“A duke.” Margaret sighed wistfully. “Can you believe it?”
“I know she’ll be happy, but I don’t envy her at all,” Juliette admitted. The thought of becoming a duchess in London society was impossible to imagine. And for her sister, it would be even more difficult, since Victoria had been too afraid to leave the house for the past five years. When they’d journeyed here, an accident en route had caused her to be inadvertently left behind, leaving her stranded in the Scottish Highlands for days. After that, her anxieties had held her prisoner in the house. It was only with the duke’s help that she’d managed to walk past the front door. No one knew how she would manage to travel to London with her new husband.
Juliette moved into the parlor, keeping on the outskirts of the other guests. Her mother, Beatrice, was beaming with joy, thrilled at her daughter’s successful match. Soon enough, she would drag the rest of them back to London, in the hopes of securing successful marriages.
The thought was both reassuring and frightening. Juliette had her own reasons for wanting to be away from Ballaloch. Yet, her mother would never understand why she wanted to remain a spinster. At the thought of confessing her nightmare, nausea roiled in her stomach. She intended to put it off for as long as humanly possible.
Victoria crossed the room alone, and Juliette thought it odd that her husband would have left her side on their wedding day. Her sister was twisting her hands, eyeing the door with uncertainty.
A moment later, Dr. Fraser came through the front door. His gaze narrowed upon one of the Highlanders, and he crossed through the crowd, speaking quietly to Mr. Cain Sinclair. There was a sense of urgency in his demeanor, and when Juliette made her way toward them, she caught only Paul’s last words: “Get the horses.”
For what purpose? Juliette frowned, wondering if there had been another raid or if anyone was hurt. Paul met her gaze for a fraction of a second, inclining his head in a nod. He donned his hat and hurried back outside.
Before Mr. Sinclair could join him, Juliette caught the man’s arm, craning her neck to look at him. “What’s going on?”
“Let me by,” he said. “We heard that Lord Strathland has sent men riding toward this house. We’re wanting to know where they are and why they’re coming.”
Her mind went numb at the thought. Only this past autumn, the Earl of Strathland had evicted the MacKinloch crofters on his land in order to make room for his vast herds of sheep. Her family had given the local clan refuge before the duke had agreed to give them space on his land for permanent homes, but the fighting had continued between the earl’s men and the crofters.
Lord Strathland was a threat to all of them. The very thought of the man tightened the fear within her, and she wished he’d go back to England. She couldn’t understand why he stayed here, in the midst of thousands of acres of grazing land, when he could live on another estate. For as long as she could remember, he’d lived in this region like a king trying to conquer all the surrounding lands. He’d tried, time and again, to buy her parents’ land, only to have her father refuse. It was also the reason why he’d wanted to wed her—in the hopes of winning Ballaloch as a marriage settlement.
Juliette clenched her hands together to stop them from shaking. “Don’t let Strathland ruin my sister’s wedding.”
