She forced herself to meet his gaze. In his eyes, she saw a hunger so great, it nearly undid her senses. He was angry, not only with her but with the society world surrounding her.
“You shouldn’t have followed me here,” she admitted sadly. It wasn’t fair, asking him to give up the home he loved, when she had invisible chains that bound her to a spinster’s life.
“I’ve waited for years, just for the sight of your bonny face again. And time and again, you push me away.” He moved in to cup her cheek. “Tell me now to leave you alone. That you can no’ bear to see me again, and I’ll go.” His hand stroked the edge of her jaw, kindling a longing she had to push back. “You willna see me again, unless you’re wanting to.”
Juliette held his hand against her cheek, the coldness of fear fighting against the heat he kindled. The idea of not seeing him was painful in a way she didn’t understand. Words tightened in her throat, and she knew she had no choice but to reveal everything.
“Tell me I mean naught to you,” he said. “Look into my eyes and say it.”
“It would be a lie.” Against her cheek, she felt the heat of his breath. Every part of her wanted to lean in to him, to lay down her burdens and take the comfort he offered.
“I’m returning to Scotland within a fortnight,” he said. “And I’m wanting you to come with me.”
She stole a glance at the door, thinking of her baby. Every moment with him had been a precious gift, to watch him grow older. “I don’t know if I can leave.” She’d done it before, but each day without Matthew had been its own torment.
“Then you’ll have no choice but to face Strathland,” he said quietly. “Without me to watch over you.”
Ice slid over her nerves, for he spoke the truth. In the earl’s eyes, she’d seen the obsession of a man who wanted to chase his prey. God help her, she had to avoid him at all costs. If for no other reason than to protect her son from ever learning of his true father.
“You would do that?” she asked. “Leave me to his manipulations?”
“It’s you who would choose that, lass. I’ve offered to take you away from London. Time and again, I’ve asked you to wed me. What are you afraid of?”
“Myself,” she whispered. It was the most honest answer she could give. “I care about you, Paul. I do. But I worry that one day you’ll regret it if I say yes.”
“You’ll regret it if youdon’tsay aye,” he predicted, running his hand over the back of her neck. “Why do you no’ try being my wife for a few years? Where’s the harm in it?”
He wouldn’t be teasing her like this if he knew the truth. She took a breath. “What if I told you… that I don’t want to have any children? Would you still wish to marry me?”
His hand stopped moving. “I saw you with the bairn earlier, Juliette. And I’d say you do want children. Very much.”
This wasn’t working at all.
“What if I told you I didn’t want to share your bed? What if I asked you never to touch me?”
“Like I did at thecèilidh?” he ventured, his voice growing rough. “You wouldna want my hands upon your skin, tempting you?”
Blood rose into her flesh, and she felt herself yielding to his words. She could say nothing at all as he kissed the softness of her neck, pulling her against the hard planes of his body.
Unbidden, her arms went around his neck, welcoming his touch. Her breath shuddered until he pulled back, his eyes holding a searing desire.
“Strathland will no’ be able to touch you if you’re already wed,” he reminded her. “He’ll have no choice but to find another woman. And from the way his wool empire is crumbling, he’ll need an heiress.”
She stilled at his words. It was true, what he’d said about Strathland being unable to touch her if she were married. No man could. None, save Paul.
“If you’re afraid of our marriage bed, I swear to you I’ll no’ touch you until you want me to. You’ll have your freedom to do as you please, and we’ll share a home. Naught else, until you’re ready.”
The offer struck her speechless. Was he suggesting a celibate marriage?
She said nothing, studying his face to read beneath his words. “Why would you offer this, Paul?”
He raked a hand through his hair. “I shouldna offer it. I ken I should’ve left you long ago, when you told me to go.” His eyes narrowed. “But Strathland took my father from me. Damned if I’ll let him take someone else that I care about.”
“And what about you? What about your… desires?” she whispered, her face flaming. “How can I ask you to wed someone like me, when you’re giving up so much?”
He returned to stand before her. “Do you no’ believe you could make a home for us? Could we enjoy our time as man and wife together, until you’re ready for more?”
I’ll never be ready for more,she thought. But his offer tempted her.
