Lily stood from the chair and went to stand by him. Matthew’s face was haunted, grim lines of emotional pain carved into his face. She drew her arms around his neck and murmured, “There was nothing you could do.”
“She wasn’t even English, I learned later. They took a child from one of their enemies and used her to torment me.”
She embraced him, resting her cheek against his pounding heart. “It wasn’t your fault, Matthew.”
“I still blame myself. Though I know Nisha was truly a madwoman, I wish I could have saved that girl.”
She understood his pain, but there were no words that could change what happened. Instead, she held him close and let him take comfort in her arms. “How did you finally escape her?”
“James got out and brought back help to save me.” His mouth twisted in a wry smile. “It’s ironic, really. I left England because I wanted to protect him and bring him home to you. But in the end, he had to free me from captivity.”
Lily traced the lines of his face, past the scar, framing his cheeks with her hands. “But you are both home now. And I am glad of it.” She raised up on tiptoes to kiss him softly. Though she did not know if revealing the past would help him, she could only hope that sharing the burden would do him good. It would take time to overcome the harsh memories of India—but she loved him still.
“How are you feeling?” she asked.
He drew back to look at her. “You were right, Lily. It did help to talk about it. And despite all that has happened, I hope you don’t think less of me.”
She shook her head slowly. “I understand you better, Matthew. And it doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Ifanything, I admire your courage. You survived at the hands of a murderer.”
“I don’t think I can ever forget what happened,” he murmured. “Those memories will remain for the rest of my life.”
“But I will be with you,” she whispered. “And we will face them down together.” The words were a promise she believed in. Her pulse pounded, but she wanted Matthew to know that her heart still belonged to him.
The library was dark, except for the fire in the hearth. His eyes were filled with desire and a hunger only she could sate. “I want that more than anything, Lily.” He kissed her wrist and ventured, “If you will have me.”
Both of them had changed over the years, but she wanted to believe she could heal the scars of his past. Her pulse thrummed in her veins, and she reached out to touch his face. He caught her hand, closing his eyes as if drinking in her touch.
And she was utterly lost to this man.
“Help me take off this wet riding habit,” she whispered.
His expression grew heated, but he moved his hands to the buttons lining her back. One by one, he flicked them open. When he had undone five of them, he turned her to face the other way, lowering his mouth to her bared skin. With each button, he traced a path down her back with his lips. Shivers erupted over her flesh, and she understood what she had begun. There was no turning back now.
When her riding habit hung open, she faced him. Matthew helped her lift it away, leaving her in her corset, chemise, and petticoats. He lowered his mouth to her throat, kissing a path along her neckline.
“Help me,” she whispered, untying her petticoats and turning her back for him to unlace the corset. Her body felt alive with need, and she remembered well what it was to lie beneath him,to take him inside her. It felt like that hurried wedding night, when she had first given herself to him.
No, it had not been a true wedding, but they had spoken vows to one another. And she could not let him leave for India without those promises. In her heart, he had been her husband, and he had sworn to love her.
After she had stepped out of her numerous petticoats, Matthew slid the laces from her corset. She felt herself trembling with anticipation, until at last, she stood in her chemise and drawers.
“Your turn,” she whispered, sliding the coat from his shoulders. His face was rigid with desire, and when she unbuttoned his waistcoat, he lowered her chemise to her waist, baring her breasts.
She felt herself flush but made no effort to hide herself from his view. Around her throat, she wore the silver chain with the gold signet ring.
Matthew slid his fingers beneath the chain, before he reached to her nape to unfasten the clasp. He removed the ring from the chain and held it for a moment. She was caught up beneath his spell when he held the ring between his fingers and traced the heavy gold over the curve of her breast. Slowly, he circled her nipple with the ring, and her areola tightened with the pressure of the metal. An ache rose between her legs, echoing the sensation.
Matthew removed his shirt, pulling her closer until her breasts touched his bare chest. Softness against hard lines, her cool skin against his warm flesh. Between her legs, she yearned for this man, needing his touch.
“Do you want to know what the black silk was for?” he asked. “Shall I show you?”
She felt a rush of nerves but nodded. Matthew took her by the hand and led her over to the chaise longue. Then he removed therest of her clothing until she stood naked before him. His gaze lingered over her, as if he were memorizing every curve and line.
“You’re even more beautiful than I remembered.” He guided her to sit upon the chaise longue and picked up the black length of silk. Then he blindfolded her with it. “When you cannot see, the sensations are stronger.”
He was right. Without her vision to guide her, she was only aware of the chaise longue beneath her body and his hands beside her face. Her skin prickled, her breasts straining in the chill of the air. Matthew traced his hands across her shoulders, and without warning, his mouth encircled her nipple.
A sharp spear of pleasure caught her unawares, and she grew wet between her legs. A moan escaped her, and she reached for Matthew, clutching his hair as he feasted upon one nipple, then the other. The scalding sensation of his tongue caressing her, coupled with the gentle suction, made her go breathless with desire.
