“I think he suspected…but he wanted to deny it. Both because he didn’t want the earldom, and he didn’t want your father to die.”
“He just told us he was leaving,” Lily said. “With hardly any warning at all.”
“James wanted to prove his worth,” Matthew continued. “He told me he wanted to rebuild the family’s wealth by reaching beyond England.”
“But you don’t really believe that,” Lily said, resting her hands on her knees. “I think he was running away.” Her brother had no reason to pursue wealth, but she’d sensed that he was restless and eager to cast off the chains of the earldom. And he hadn’t wanted to face his father’s death.
“I agree. And that’s part of the reason why I followed him. I suspected if he left England alone, he would never return.”
She reached for Matthew’s hand, and his fingers closed around hers. “I am grateful you did.”
“He was like a younger brother to me,” Matthew admitted. “I thought I could watch over him and bring him back to your family.”
His expression was pensive, and she wondered if he was ready to talk about what he had endured. “Will you tell me more about what happened when you arrived in India?”
Matthew kept her hand in his, but his gaze fixed upon the wall. She didn’t press him, but simply held his hand and let him say anything at all. He took a breath and finally began. “I knew the East India Company was trading cotton and spices. There were profits in that. But one of the sailors was talking of rubies and sapphires. He convinced James to go out on his own in search of the gemstones, even though I warned him not to trust the man.”
He shook his head. “The man was always shadowing us. I should have listened to my own instincts. I still believe someone hired him to harm us, though I can’t prove it.”
Matthew’s face turned somber, and his face tightened. “The sailor led us all the way toward the northern border of India. He wanted to separate us from the others.”
Lily reached out to take his hand, for Matthew’s voice had grown quiet. “Was that how you were captured?”
He nodded. “I thought at first that the sailor meant to ransom us or use us as leverage against the English soldiers in India. But he sold us to a group of rebels.”
Deep inside, she felt the chill of his words. A part of her didn’t want to hear any more, but he needed to let go of the memories and share his burden.
“Go on,” Lily murmured.
Matthew released her hands and stood, as if he could no longer be still. He drank the entire glass of brandy before he crossed the room and went to stand by the window. The drapes were closed, and his form cast a shadow over them.
“They took James first. I don’t know what they did to him or what they said. But all I could think of was finding a way to get us out.”
He poured himself a second glass and broke off a bit of cheese. “They kept me separated from James, and I had no water for two days. I thought I was going to die in chains. They had dug out part of a sand dune, and we were kept in the darkness. It felt as if we were buried alive.
“When they brought James back, they took me in his place. We were not allowed to speak to one another. But I don’t think he could have spoken if he’d wanted to. I don’t know what was done to him, and I never asked.”
He ate the cheese and rested his palms upon the table, looking down. “Those weeks were the worst I’ve ever endured.”
Lily drank her own glass of brandy, steeling herself for the worst. She wanted to go to him, to wrap her arms around his waist and hear the truth. But she forced herself to stay back, to let him continue.
“The sailor who led us into captivity brought a woman to talk to me. She was beautiful and soft-spoken, but I could understand her English perfectly. Her name was Nisha Amat, and she seemed to know who I was.” He paused. “She knew my title, and she spoke of my family members. When I asked her how she knew them, she said James had told her.”
He shrugged. “It’s possible that he did. But she kept speaking of her husband and child, and she claimed they were taken by the British army. There was such…hatred in her voice. I knew she was lying, for what army would have any use for a child?
“I told her that, but it only enraged her.” He lifted his gaze to Lily’s. “She had a kind of madness in her that I’d never seen before. It was as if all her anger transformed into the purest evil. They deprived us of food, water, and offered it if we would betray one another. As the days passed into weeks, I started to lose my grasp on what was real and what was not. I tried to think of you and our life in England, but as they broke my bones and burned my skin, I realized that I was never going to leave India alive. Nisha had no interest in answers—only torture.”
He turned his back on her, and then said, “She wanted both of us dead, but only after we suffered as much as she had. I don’t know who took her husband and child, but she blamed the British.”
“It’s over now,” Lily whispered. “She’s gone, and you will never see her again.”
His face had a hard cast to it. “That’s not the worst of it, Lily.” He paused a moment and said, “One night, she brought in a child.”
Lily felt the tears rise to her eyes before they spilled over. The pain and guilt in his voice was agonizing. She didn’t want to hear it, but she knew he needed to release the nightmares that haunted him.
“They blindfolded me, and I heard the little girl crying. Nisha told me they had taken her from a British family. If I would tell her where her own lost child was, she would return this girl to her parents. And if I refused to talk, the child would suffer instead.”
His hands clenched into fists. “My mind was so broken, I couldn’t even make up lies. I could say nothing at all, and theytortured an innocent child. I still hear her screams when I try to sleep at night.” He lowered his head and admitted, “It’s my fault she died.”
