A coldness flooded through him, and he said nothing. It was as if her words were a razor, slashing through him. Never, in all his life, had he allowed himself to consider that Charlotte was not his mother. It was unthinkable.
Miss Carlisle took a step forward. “It is well known that Lady Arnsbury was barren for at least ten years. She went away for nearly a year and returned with you, claiming you as her child. And then Lord Arnsbury raised you as his heir.”
“Get out,” he said. He had no wish to hear any more of these insinuations. “I will pay you nothing. But Iwillhaveyou arrested on charges of blackmail, unless you cease these accusations.”
“Your father ruined me,” she said softly. “And he knew it. He was also willing to pay a yearly sum so that I could live in comfort.”
“I am not willing to pay it.” He took her by the elbow and guided her to the door. “You will leave now, before I have you removed.”
“The Earl of Strathland was my brother,” she said. “I have hidden myself from society over the years, because of his misdeeds. But if you ask Lady Arnsbury about our family, she will tell you what truly happened.”
He started to open the door, but she touched his hand with hers. “How much is your good name worth?” she asked. “All I ask is a small amount to live on. And in return, no one need ever know you are a bastard.”
In response, he closed the door to his study, shutting her out. His hands were shaking from fury and denial. All his life, he had been the beloved only son of his parents. He had never wanted for anything, and his mother had treated him like a precious gift.
There could be no truth to Sarah Carlisle’s words. She was only trying to solicit money from him, and he would not consider it.
Have you never wondered why your eyes are brown, like mine?God help him, there was indeed a similarity between them. That was why she had appeared so familiar. He saw bits and pieces of himself in her face.
She is not my mother,he swore to himself. He would not allow such thoughts to take root. But he could not dispute the fact that his father had indeed paid this woman a great deal of money over the years. Whether it was guilt over having ruined her…or the price for secrecy, he could not say.
And God help him, he didn’t want to know the answers.
As the weeks passed, Matthew pushed the matter to the back of his mind, keeping his attention on courting Lily. Ever since he had nearly seduced her, she had shied away from him, ensuring that James was always there to chaperone. Although she never once turned him away when he came to call, it was clear that she was uneasy about being alone with him.
And so, he took a step back, giving her time to grow adjusted to the idea that he wanted to be with her.
Some men might use flowers or jewelry to court a woman. Instead, Matthew brought Lily books and pamphlets on veterinary medicine. He considered it a challenge to find new gifts for her, and it pleased him to see her smile.
The dog’s wounds had healed, and today Matthew saw Sebastian curled up at her feet while Lily studied. She wore a dove-gray gown, and her brown hair was caught up in an updo with two curls hanging down to her throat. Her fingers were ink-stained, but she continued to write.
Her footman cleared his throat, announcing his presence. “Lord Arnsbury has come to pay a call, Lady Lily.”
“Show him in, Calvert. And tell James that he has come.” She glanced up from her work and smiled.
“I regret that your brother is not here just now. Shall I send for your mother to chaperone?”
“Yes, please.” Lily set her pen down and stood from her chair. The dog rolled over and the moment he spied Matthew, his tail began to wag. Sebastian stood and stretched, trotting over to sniff his shoes.
Lily gripped her hands together and nodded in greeting. “Hello, Matthew.”
He moved forward and lifted her hand to his lips. “Good afternoon, Lily.” With a glance toward the papers scattered around her, he asked, “How do you find the correspondence course?”
She smiled and answered honestly, “It is unfortunate that I have to lie about my name and pretend I’m a man. But they seem pleased with my progress. I’m learning about rabies in dogs at the moment.” She reached down to ruffle Sebastian’s ears, and he licked her fingers.
Matthew offered her a package wrapped in brown paper, and she smiled at him. “Another book?”
“If it were, I would need to bring you a bookcase as your next gift. But no, it’s something different this time.”
She unwrapped the parcel and found a box inside. He watched her expression while she opened it. Lily withdrew a silver bracelet with a dog charm hanging from the chain, and her face softened. “Oh, Matthew. It’s as if you captured the image of Sebastian.” She raised shining eyes to him, and her happiness filled him up with satisfaction. He helped her put on the bracelet, and her hand rested upon his. “It’s wonderful.”
When he held her fingers captive, she hesitated. “I fear I will stain your hands with my ink.” Her face flushed, but he didn’t let go.
Instead, he rubbed his thumb across her knuckles. “I’m hardly worried about ink, Lily.” He cupped her cheek, tilting her face up as he kissed her lightly. “I am very glad we don’t have a chaperone yet,” he murmured against her mouth. “I’ve missed kissing you.” He started to deepen the embrace, but she pulled back.
Lily’s cheeks were flushed, and she rested her hands on his shoulders. “I—I don’t know where my mother is,” she stammered. “I wonder if she’s feeling well today.”
Matthew didn’t know whether he’d frightened her or overwhelmed her. But he relaxed his hold, not wanting to pressure her. “Am I making you uncomfortable?” He guessed he had pushed her too far when he’d touched her the last time.
