The dancing and feasting continued into the night, and Matthew had to admit, the Irish knew how to celebrate. More than once, men had tried to share whiskey with him, their cheeks reddened with drunken joy.
Iain’s sisters, Colleen and Sybil, tried to encourage Matthew to join the dancing, but he could not bring himself to leave the shadows. He had come to Ireland at Charlotte’s insistence, and he knew that she and Juliette were always watching him. He had nearly ended his life, albeit unintentionally, and he hardly trusted himself.
After he had awakened with the doctor and his family surrounding him, he’d felt a sense of shame for what had happened. And so, he had begun each day as a single step. He bargained with himself, claiming that he would try to become a better man and atone for his failings.
He forced himself to get out of bed each day and eat food that tasted like dust. He’d attempted Dr. Fraser’s suggestion ofstanding outside for minutes at a time. But even a few moments made his heartbeat quicken with fear.
A few paces away, he saw that Lily’s face was flushed, and she was laughing at something one of the older Irishmen had said. The man had reached for her hand, but she shook her head. “Forgive me, sir, but we’ve only just met.”
He wondered if the man had made an improper remark and stepped in. “Is everything all right, Lady Lily?”
“Yes, of course. Padraig here has asked me to wed him, but I could not be so bold.” She was still laughing, and he returned her smile. The Irishman had to be eighty years old, if not older. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief, and he had no teeth left in his wrinkled smile.
“You’re a finecailín, to be sure,” he cackled. “And in my day, all the women wanted to wed me.”
Matthew raised an eyebrow at that. “How much whiskey have you drunk, sir?”
“Not enough,” the old man remarked cheerfully. “When I’m no longer standing, that’ll be enough.”
“I’ll leave you to it,” Lily said, joining him. Her hazel eyes were bright with merriment. “My goodness, I never imagined these people would love a wedding so much.”
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.
“I am.” She smiled warmly at him, and he drank in the sight of her beauty. Her brown hair was nearly red against the firelight, her skin flushed from the dancing. He could not stop staring at her, and Lily seemed to sense his interest. She averted her gaze. “Rose and Iain have already departed, but the guests will undoubtedly eat and drink until dawn.” Her voice came out faster, as if she were trying to fill the space with conversation.
He didn’t want her to feel awkward or afraid of him, but he offered his arm. “Would you care to walk with me for a while?”
Lily hesitated and glanced back at the others. Idly, she rubbed at her arm. “It’s getting late. I should probably go back to the house.”
“I’ll escort you there.”
He waited, and she gave a nod of agreement. After they walked a few steps, she inquired, “Whydidyou travel so far, Lord Arnsbury? It truly wasn’t necessary. You could have simply sent a letter.”
He slowed his pace, wondering quite how to explain it. She didn’t know of his close brush with death that night. But he said, “I couldn’t go on as I had before. Not when I had sunk so low. I needed to leave London and prove to myself that I could begin again. The journey gave me the time I needed.”
She stopped walking and faced him. In the moonlight, her face held sympathy. “And now?”
He reached out to take her hand, and her fingers curled over his. “Each mile helped me to clear my head. Not only from all the medicines and draughts, but it gave me the chance to find out what was left of me after India.”
Her expression sobered. “I know what you mean.” After a pause, she added, “Forgive me for speaking so plainly, but after we parted ways the last time, I saw that my father was right. I was only eighteen, infatuated with the idea of an elopement. You and I didn’t truly know one another.”
They were drawing close to the house, and he stopped walking again. “I never meant to force you into an unwanted marriage, Lily.”
“I know. It was my own fault. And perhaps it’s better that it was never legal.”
It was an easy solution, one that enabled them to have their freedom. And yet, he didn’t like the idea of abandoning Lily. He did remember the night he had shared in her arms, and he hadaccepted the gift of her innocence. It felt wrong to walk away from her now, but he knew she deserved better.
Before she could take another step, one of the drunken men stumbled into her. The Irishman was a large bearded man, and he reached for Lily, leaning in. “Here, now. You’re a pretty thing. Come on and give us a kiss.”
Matthew didn’t think but shoved the man away from her. The raw urge to protect Lily overshadowed all else.Leave her alone.
The drunken man lunged back, and Matthew dodged a blow to his stomach. In an instant, the world appeared to slow down and his surroundings blurred. His hands curled into fists, and he struck hard, welcoming the crunch of bone and bruised skin.
“Matthew!” Lily cried out.
He was dimly aware of men cheering while someone cried out for him to stop. But truthfully, it felt good to defend her honor. He was fully in command of his senses, and within seconds, the drunkard was lying face down on the ground, unmoving.
He hadn’t fought in months, but a surge of righteousness filled him. No one would harm Lily while she was under his protection.
