With her heart in her throat, she knocked at his door.
Chapter Four
Matthew sat in the wingback chair, his eyesight blurring, his shoulders aching. He was caught in a haze of sleeplessness, and he didn’t remember when he’d eaten last. Nor did he care. The black pit of his existence surrounded him, the darkness pushing away everything, save an endless sea of weariness.
His bedroom door swung open, and he jerked at the noise. There she stood, a vision in white. Lily’s golden brown hair was combed back to a knot at her nape, and she carried a basket in one arm. Her cheeks were flushed, as if she had hurried on her way to see him. And in spite of his melancholy, he was glad to see her. She disrupted the darkness, pushing back the shadows.
“May I come in?”
“You’re already inside,” he pointed out. “A few steps more won’t matter.”
She smiled at that, and something stirred within him. Her hazel eyes warmed to him, and she cracked the door behind her. “How are you today?”
“Alive. And quite disgruntled at the world and everyone in it.” He didn’t bother hiding the truth from her, and Lily didn’t seem to mind. In a way, it felt good to be brutally honest with someone.
“Are you angry with me?”
He stared at her for a long moment. “No, not angry. But I do know that I’m behaving like an ill-tempered dragon.”
“You have a strong reason for being ill-tempered.” She sat down and put the basket upon a side table. “But I did promise to love you in sickness and in health.” Her mood was different this time, as if she were no longer afraid of him. Still, she kept her distance. For a moment, she studied his bedroom. “Itisrather dark in here. Do you prefer it that way, or shall I open the drapes?”
“I don’t care what you do.” He lacked the desire or the energy to move just now. But his curiosity was piqued by the basket. He thought he heard a rustling noise. “What did you bring me?”
“Strawberry tarts,” she said. She pulled aside the drapes, and the sunlight pierced his eyes. Matthew shielded his face, and in the meantime, he heard the rustling noise again. What on earth was it?
He tensed, his hands tightening upon the arm rests. His gaze shifted to the breakfast tray he’d ignored earlier and the silver cloche upon it. Had a mouse managed to get inside the basket? He started to ease his hand toward the cloche, wondering if he could trap the mouse beneath the tray cover.
“You seem a little better today,” she offered. “At least, you haven’t demanded that I leave you.”
“Yet,” he emphasized.
“I feel certain you might, perhaps within the next minute.” She raised an eyebrow at him. “But I will take the risk.”
Those hazel eyes studied him, as if she were trying to understand him better. “I’ve been thinking a great deal since Ileft you last. And you’re right…we cannot simply pick up where we left off. You’ve changed, and you are not the same man anymore.”
“Neither of us is the same,” he agreed. “And our reasons for the…unconventional marriage are no longer valid. I cannot undo what happened in the past, but I can give you back your future.”
Her expression dimmed, but she gave a nod. “I thought you might say that. But what you need is someone to help you out of the darkness. You need a friend.” She extended her hand to him, but he didn’t take it. “Let me help you, Matthew.”
A tightness filled up the emptiness within him. He was so weary of living. She might want to be his friend, but he had nothing left to give.
“I won’t ask that of you.” He kept his voice frosted, needing her to go away. Didn’t she understand that the man she had once loved was gone? He wasn’t that man anymore, and he refused to try. He eyed the door and added, “Now would be a good time for you to leave.”
But instead of rising from the chair, she reached for the basket. It reminded him of what he’d seen earlier.
“Wait,” he warned her. “Something is moving within that basket. And I highly doubt my strawberry tarts are…alive.”
“Oh, that.” Her demeanor turned guilty. “I brought you something else, along with the tarts. It may not have been a very good idea. But I’ll show you nonetheless.”
She went over to the basket and unlatched it. A moment later, he spied a gray and white kitten emerging from the basket, covered in strawberries and crumbs. When Lily saw her ruined tarts, her expression grew pained. “Oh dear.”
Matthew got up and went to inspect the animal. The kitten was just large enough to fit in his hand, and he picked it up. The feline stared at him with wide eyes. Its fur was matted with sticky strawberries, and he brushed off the crumbs.
“I suppose you won’t be having a strawberry tart.” She winced. “I thought I had wrapped the tarts safely in napkins, but the kitten managed to get into them.”
Matthew eyed Lily. “And what are you expecting me to do with him?”
A hint of a smile slid over her lips at his remark. “Well, I didn’t intend for you to eat him, that’s for certain.” She reached out for the kitten. “I suppose I should wash him off. He’ll be quite cross with me.”
