I was. I’ve always been your friend.They had been close, despite their ten year age difference. Their mothers had been good friends, paying calls on one another frequently. Sometimes when Matthew had visited with his mother, James had toddled after him, eagerly trying to engage him in playing with tin soldiers. He’d been the little brother Matthew had always wanted, and even now, he would protect James without a second thought.
He could say nothing to allay his friend’s anger, for words wouldn’t heal the invisible wounds he’d caused. His body ached, not only from James’s blows, but from the darkness that shadowed his mood. “You should have left me there to die.”
James paused at the doorway. “Yes. I should have.”
Three days later
Lily had nearly reached the front door when her sister Rose stopped her. “What are you doing?”
She adjusted the basket over her arm. “Nothing.”
“I don’t believe you.” Her sister took slow, halting steps. “You’re trying to sneak out, aren’t you? You’re going to seehimagain.” But instead of being angry, Rose gave a conspiratorial smile. “What’s in the basket?”
“Just some food.”
She’d asked Cook to prepare a basket filled with Matthew’s favorite foods—in particular, strawberry tarts. They had shared some on their wedding night. A flush came over her face, remembering the way he had tasted the sliced strawberries and then kissed her until her knees went weak.
“I’m going with you,” Rose said. “That way, James won’t suspect anything. If he asks, we’re going to pay a call on Evangeline.” She caught sight of her lady’s maid and ordered, “Hattie, please fetch my bonnet and shawl. I am going with my sister to pay calls.”
“Shall I come with you?” the maid offered.
“No, thank you. I will take a footman with us.” While Hattie departed to obey, Rose leaned in closer. “How were you planning to travel?”
Lily kept her voice low, not knowing if she could trust any of the servants. “In our carriage, if I can manage it. But James is being overprotective. He’s forbidden me to see Matthew.”
Her sister’s face turned serious. “And what doyouwant, Lily? You waited for this man for two years. Is he worth it?”
The weight of uncertainty bore down upon her. “I don’t know. I want to believe that he will remember what we shared and love me again. But…nothing is the same as it was two years ago.”
“And if he doesn’t?”
Lily didn’t want to consider that. For so long, she had shaped her life around Matthew. Without him, it was as if someone had torn away the foundation of herself. An emptiness stretched out before her, one she didn’t want to face. “I don’t know.”
Rose walked with her to the front door. “My advice is to begin again, as friends. Treat him as you would a stranger, and perhaps, in time, his memories will return.”
It was reasonable enough, but Lily admitted, “How? He doesn’t even want to see me.” She winced when she thought of him ordering her to leave.
“A man who has endured great suffering needs a reason to smile again, don’t you think?” Her sister nodded toward the basket. “Your idea of bringing him food is a good one. But you should find a way to distract him from the past.” Rose turned her attention toward their cat, Moses. He had sired four new kittens with their other cat, Geranium, a few months ago.
Two of the babies were following their father, and the sight of them made Lily smile. Moses nudged against her legs, seeking affection, and she leaned down to rub his ears. “No one loves you, do they, Moses? You are so neglected.”
But she was beginning to see what Rose was suggesting. Matthew needed something to bring him back to the world, and was there anyone who didn’t love kittens? She picked up a gray and white kitten and held him close. “Do you really think I should give him one of the kittens?”
Her sister considered it. “Possibly. Unless kittens make him sneeze.”
Lily cuddled the feline, who rewarded her by sinking claws into her glove. She winced and extricated the animal, gently placing him in the basket with her food. “Well, I suppose we’ll try it. At worst, I’ll just bring the kitten back again.” She followed her sister toward the front door, only to be interrupted by her brother.
James cleared his throat and stood at the doorway like an angry sentry. “And just where do you think you are going?” He folded his arms across his chest and raised an eyebrow.
Rose sent their brother a bright smile. “We are going to pay a call upon Evangeline. Lily decided to bring her a kitten.”
His gaze narrowed. “Is that so? Perhaps I should accompany you.”
No, don’t,she pleaded inwardly. But her sister gave James a critical eye. “I wouldn’t, James. Evangeline doesn’t want to see you.”
His expression held a hint of embarrassment. “And how would you know that?”
“Because when she found out you had returned, she said she would rather be devoured by eels than see you again. At least, I’m fairly certain that’s what she said.”
