Just like her mother.
A cold chill washed over her, and she felt her throat gather up with tears. They all knew that nothing could mend Iris’s broken mind. But they loved her and would take care of her for as long as they could. She didn’t want to imagine that the same had happened to Matthew.
Lady Penford had grown subdued and had removed her necklaces. She went to stand by the hearth, whispering softly to herself. Rose eased herself up from the chair and limped toward their mother, leaning on her cane.
“Lady Arnsbury is not aware of your secret wedding, is she?” her grandmother asked. Lily shook her head, and some of the tension left Lady Wolcroft’s shoulders. “We have only one choice, as I see it. Since it was never a legal marriage, you are free to choose another suitor. I do believe this would be best, given Lord Arnsbury’s…madness.”
“He was wounded and tortured,” Lily reminded her. It wasn’t as if Matthew had lost his wits.
“Even so, he is not good husband material.” Mildred squared her shoulders as if the matter were settled. “We will ensure that there are no legal implications and move forward from there.”
“But I want to remain with him,” Lily insisted. “He will recover, and I am certain we can wed properly.” She wanted so badly to believe that he would recover.
Her grandmother rolled her eyes. “And here, I thought you were the sensible one, Lily. I have one granddaughter who intends to marry a man and live as an exile in Ireland and a daughter who believes in imaginary wolves and adorns herself like the Queen of Sheba.”
“I won’t give up on Matthew,” Lily said firmly.At least, not until he gives up on me.But today she had glimpsed a trace of the man she’d loved. When he’d spoken of their wedding night, it was as if the years had been lifted away for a moment, bringing them back together. She’d hoped he might kiss her.
Instead, the broken teacup had transformed him into someone else. She didn’t know if he could be healed any more than her mother.
But she had to try.
Matthew was sitting in his mother’s drawing room when James Thornton, the Earl of Penford, strode across the room. The man’s fists were clenched, and fury blazed in his eyes. “I ought to kill you.”
Given his friend’s fury, Matthew stood and inquired, “Dare I ask why?”
“I should have left you to rot at the hands of your torturers, after what you did to my sister.” James lunged toward him, and his fist caught the edge of Matthew’s jaw.
Pain blasted through him, but it was welcome. After days of hardly sleeping, he wished that someonewouldknock him unconscious.
“You ruined her.” James threw another punch, and Matthew didn’t bother to defend himself. His head snapped to the side with the force of the excruciating blow, and he tasted blood.
“Goddamn you.” His friend stepped back, his fists still clenched. “Why would you take advantage of her? She was only eighteen.” James loosened his fingers and shook his head. “I thought you were better than that.” His voice lowered, and he sighed. “That’s not the kind of man you are. Or, at least, that’s what I believed.”
Beneath the weight of his friend’s stare, Matthew admitted, “I don’t know what kind of man I am anymore, James.” He stared back at his friend, the heaviness of exhaustion weighing upon him. He couldn’t undo the mistakes he’d made.
“You let her believe you were going to marry her,” James said, his tone holding cold fury. “And then you ruined her before leaving her behind. If there had been a child…”
“There wasn’t.” He held James’s gaze. “And if you came here to tell me to leave her alone, save your breath. We both know I cannot marry her now.”
“You bastard.” James swung again, and pain lashed through him at the blow to his ribs, causing him to stagger backward. “That’s why she came to see you, wasn’t it? Because she loved you. And now, you think to abandon her?”
Matthew caught his friend’s fist before the next blow could fall. “Yes. I am going to leave her alone to find another man who is far better than me. Isn’t that what you want?”
“What I want is to break every bone in your body.” James let out a foul curse. “How could you do this?”
“I never meant to hurt her.” He knew he’d wronged Lily, despite the missing pieces of memory. He never should have touched her. For not only had he ruined her life, he’d also destroyed the trust of his best friend. He couldn’t change the past…but he could let Lily go. She could find a better man, one who would give her the life she deserved.
Matthew sank down into a chair, swiping at the blood on his nose. He lowered his head. “Tell her I’ll add funds to her dowry as compensation for what I did.”
James seized him by his shirt and jerked him to stand. “The last thing I want is for you to treat my sister like a common trollop. You ought to find a single shred of honor and marry her. Grant her that respect at least.”
He didn’t know how James could even consider it. He wasn’t fit to be a husband to any woman just now. “No woman deserves to be bound to a man like me. Better that you should call me out and put a bullet through my brain.”
“No,” his friend answered. “I won’t reward you with death. You ought to spend the rest of your miserable life groveling to my sister. You should atone for your sins, not find an eternal escape from them.” He stepped back. “I’ll expect you to call upon her with an offer.”
Matthew’s mouth twisted. “So you intend to punish her with a lifetime of unhappiness?” He couldn’t imagine what James hoped to accomplish by wedding the pair of them. Lily believed that there was something left of the man he had been, when they were hardly more than strangers now. She should try to find happiness with someone else.
“You should have thought of that before you claimed her virtue.” James flexed his hands and stepped back. “I saved your wretched life and brought you back from India because you were my friend. But you were never that, were you? Not if you betrayed my sister.”
