But I still have to survive the second half of the year here.
I consistently refuse to participate in the school concerts that come up, like the spring events, and I also leave the band, to the great disappointment of the music teacher. Yes, someone might say that it shows the real state of my spirit, that deep downI still feel broken, that they won, but I simply don’t want to deal with all these people again, their looks, their pity.
I don’t feel like stepping on stage, looking into the eyes of all those who saw that poster pinned behind my back.
The principal even calls me in to talk about it and tells me the same words I repeat to myself in my head, that I can’t let them win, he uses them in exactly the same way.
I tell him I want to start with a clean slate, that I want to leave the past behind and cut myself off from everything that happened, but at the moment I don’t want to perform here, and the principal eventually gives up.
Starting in January I also attend the martial arts lessons Ennio arranged for me, and I take an Uber, sneaking out so my parents don’t notice.
The lessons take place twice a week at five in the afternoon, and the man, whose name is Gurco, is a no-nonsense type. Massive, grumpy, he speaks little, he shows and he demands. He doesn’t ask who I am, he asks what I want to achieve.
I'm even a little reckless, I tell him I want to learn how to fight so I can kill the people I fight as quickly as possible…
If I think Gurco would raise a brow, I’m wrong. He takes it with complete calm. What he teaches me is a kind of mixture of styles, muay thai, krav maga and marine combat.
Because I only see him twice a week, these sessions are more like a test of what he told me to practice throughout the week at home.
Of course I still train with my f-AI-t combat program, but it teaches me the sport version, while Gurco shows me how to fight dirty.
From time to time he also arranges sparring matches for me with kids my age.
Gurco has many students, so he can pick opponents who give me a proper challenge.
But it quickly turns out that most of my peers can’t keep up with me, my strength grows month by month, even if I still lack technique.
One day he brings in another boy, he’s my age, sixteen, but completely different from the others, and the moment I see him I know exactly what he is.
He’s a purple alpha, just like my brother Storm.
Gurco introduces him as Luca, but says nothing else about him, he’s simply another opponent he’s put in front of me.
And he is the first one who actually puts up a real fight.
He is the one who pushes my skills to make the biggest leap, because I finally have to focus on technique instead of relying only on brute strength.
Luca is very strong, his body is heavy and tough like all purple alphas, even though, just like me, he isn’t mature yet, our glands aren’t active, but he already has a lot of raw strength that comes with his origin.
And while his strength and skill don’t surprise me, mine clearly surprise him.
I see the moments when we wrestle on the mat and he can’t push my arm back because he simply doesn’t have enough strength…
"What the hell, how is that possible," he mutters under his breath, not understanding how, even though I’m not a purple, I seem to have as much strength as they do. I don’t understand it either, but I do know that every time I push against him my tattoos seem to warm up a little, as if they’re the ones giving me strength.
Of course, as always, I wear long-sleeved sports shirts or rashguards, so no one can see what’s on my skin.
It annoys me a little that I have to walk around everywhere dressed like this to avoid attention and questions, and I have this dream of having my own gym.
I do go to the school gym, but it’s usually full of idiots who stare at me, and I hate that, and especially I can’t train with too heavy weights because the guys will immediately surround me, whistle, and try to buddy up with me, and I have no interest in bonding with the gym jocks.
My brother Snow has his own gym in his underground den, and our father uses it too, but of course I won’t lower myself to ask for a place there.
Still, the thought of having a space where I could train doesn’t leave me, and I know that soon I’ll have to do something to make that dream happen.
More months pass, and in the meantime more changes occur between me and Alex.
We are both over sixteen now, and many people in our class are officially dating, a lot of couples walk down the hallway holding hands, and all of that starts getting to me… that I still haven’t worked on one more thing.
