The call has ended.
I throw my phone across the entire length of the living room, screaming like a wild animal.
"How could you give up, you bastard! I do not want to give up, I do not, I do not!" I scream even though he can no longer hear me.
"I loved you and you walked away… you are not fighting for me…"
And suddenly it hits me. I freeze, staring into the void, stunned.
"Then I will have to do it, I will be the one who fights for us…"
I will never give up.
I WILL NEVER GIVE UP ON YOU, BAY!
I lie flat on the floor, on the cold boards of the living room, staring up at the ceiling as a plan begins to take shape in my mind… just a seed for now, but I cannot live without a purpose, and in this one thing Bay is right, I need a purpose to move toward.
I know what I have to do.
I have to…
Changemy body.
???
I’m handling heat recovery tolerably well. Oh, the power of a mental shift, the way a single decision can flip something inside us and turn the energy around completely.
I spend a lot of time online, studying every piece of information that might become crucial.
Most of all, I research how to schedule an appointment with the best geneticist in the country, who happens to be someone from my supposed family, the famous scientist Blue Lowen.
He is the head of the genetic research division at Malden Pharmaceutical.
He does take outside patients for consultations, but the waitlist is enormous and the price is pretty high. I manage to sign up for an appointment that won’t happen for another six months.
It’s frustrating, but I’m determined for many reasons that it has to be him. His widely acknowledged genius is one thing, but the other is my origin, and he might be the only person who wouldn’t deny my request because of our blood connection.
Unfortunately, months of waiting lie ahead.
Returning to campus after heat recovery is deeply stressful for me.
Mostly because posters with Oswald’s face are plastered everywhere, all saying "Missing!"
It’s a horrible feeling.
Every time I see one, guilt hits me like a punch.
Here I am, his killer on the loose, walking across campus, passing those posters while carrying the knowledge that I eliminated him. Someone else might say he deserved it, that he tried to assault me, and even if that’s technically true, the scent of heat is a powerful trigger for all alphas. Only the strongest can resist it completely, and Oswald was only twenty-two.
I’m not trying to excuse him. He came to my house knowing he wasn’t welcome, but I can’t quite erase my anger at Fate, because this whole situation started when I stepped outside during the storm, leaving the door wide open.
Someone else might shrug and say he got what was coming, but then I learn he was an only child, and his parents are devastated, searching for any trace of him.
I also know the police are talking to a lot of people, and the thought that they might show up at my door makes me sick with fear, even though I barely knew him, had only seen him a few times, and danced with him once at that party.
Luckily, no one witnessed that moment in the park when he tried to stop me except the stalker, so the threads leading back to me aren’t very strong.
One day I see a police car parked two houses down, where the guard post is, and even though I’m sure my home camera wasn’t working, what about the ones at other houses? Was the entire line damaged?
