My jaw clenches.
In one firm, almost desperate move, I push the ring back onto my finger.
Fuck it, I’ll keep him close, no matter how much I’m going to whore myself out with the idea of anonymous stalker. I’ll keep the memory of those days, of that love, right here on me.
I won’t let it go.
The cool feel of the ring actually helps; my sobs quiet down in my throat and a strange calm spreads through me.
Not for long though, because a new contraction in my ass jerks through my whole body.
With trembling fingers, I close the empty box and put it away, then go back upstairs to Dereck’s bed, this time bringing paper towels, a pillow, a blanket.
I drop onto the bed and go back to frantically working the dildo into myself.
Obviously, I’ve always loved orgasms, duh, but now they’re almost painful, nothing like they should be.
The thought returns again, that I should just end it all, this is too exhausting.
Eventually, I widen the knot in the dildo and let the wave settle that way. Then I lie there for a long moment staring at the ceiling. I’m so worn out, my mind can’t take any more, so I just lie there numb.
I have this ridiculous thought that the college will soon put up missing posters for Oswald.
I wonder if the police will come to me if any camera in the area caught him walking this way. The students might say we knew each other, and what would I tell them then?
Maybe his friends, Tobias for example, know about his interest in me? Or know he came here.
Perhaps it would be better if they threw me in prison and my life finally straightened itself out, giving me real problems and dilemmas, the kind that revolve around surviving another day in an omega prison.
I once heard it’s not exactly a rosy place, where the strongest omegas, the tallest, most dominant ones rule everything, and the rest, especially the smaller, slighter ones, are their… fucktoys.
That would definitely be my fate. There aren’t many omegas smaller than me.
That thought actually makes me grateful that my stalker took Oswald’s body. Maybe I really can get myself out of this, because I definitely wouldn’t want to end up in prison.
My stalker…
Is he Bay, or really some psycho watching me through hidden cameras?
But honestly, right now I have bigger dilemmas than dwelling on this. My body won’t listen. It keeps demanding… ehhh.
I finally drag myself downstairs to the kitchen and force down half a liter of fruit yogurt, because it’s the only thing I can get into my stomach. Then I head to the bathroom. Thank Fate that when Bay and I furnished this little house, we decided to install a bathtub here too.
I run the water, slide into the warm bubbles, and beg for just a moment of calm, a moment of silence, but my mind is like a speeding bullet. It has to punch through several layers of raw, sensitive tissue before it can stop its trajectory.
Suddenly my phone chirps again.
I pull my hand out of the water, wipe it quickly on a towel so I don’t drip on the screen, pick it up, and stare in surprise.
It’s… Jared.
Now? Seriously? When I’m drowning in so many problems already…
"Jared?"
"Hey, Alex. I was wondering if I could drop by for a moment. I have some news."
I swallow. "Umm. You know what, maybe in a few days. I’m in heat right now."
