I exhale a stream of vapor, and stare at the ceiling.
"I have no idea how to shoot; my dad’s the one who’s better at that."
"If you want to learn, you’re welcome. I happen to have a private shooting range."
I inhale again, that pulse of quiet pouring into me. I can even talk almost casually, like the world didn’t just end. Just… casual chat.
"Maybe I’ll take you up on it. I don’t have anything to fill my time with now…"
"I can give you that too. A new life purpose. One you may even like."
"What would that be?"
Ennio squints his eyes. "Helping innocents."
I chuckle numbly; it sounds so abstract. "Well, that would do. Anyway, since I’m not planning on going to college, I can try."
"Your parents will be disappointed."
"I think having a living son will have to be enough."
???
Opening my eyes, I see the pale morning light leaking in from outside. I’m alone in the room, the chairs where my parents sat are empty, but some voices drift toward me from somewhere down the hallway.
Unfortunately, I don’t float in the merciful haze of the tranquilizer anymore. The details of yesterday are painfully sharp. They cut into me like glass grinding into skin and I can’t take it for another second.
Vape!
I reach under my pillow where I hid it last night. There it is, the cool metal shape of the case bringing instant relief. I can’t last another moment without it, I need to shut everything off, quiet it, mute it. Now. Now!
I open the case and light the vape. I set the dose to high. There are a few more cartridges inside, I guess spare doses.
Just seeing them soothes me strangely. Like water in a desert, a promise of silence in my head.
Yeah. I inhale deeply, ignoring the fact that I’m in a hospital and smoking is probably banned here, duh.
With the scent, I pull in silence, numbness, the ability to survive another day.
A pale gray cloud of nothingness spreads through my mind, as the substance fills my lungs, saturating me blissfully.
It cuts off the pain almost immediately.
Yes. Yes.
That’s what I need.
Turn off my thoughts.
Turn off the feeling of loss.
Turn off the awareness that my world has fallen apart.
Can I? It looks like I can…
The door opens and my parents walk in with a tray. Oh, crap, it’s going to be a hell of a talk, I just feel it…
But I can’t be bothered. I greet them with a calm look, but… their eyes are anything but calm.
