“You already know that.”
“How many times am I going to ask before you finally tell me?”
I let out a sigh but the weight on my chest only sinks in.
His gaze burns the side of my face, but he doesn’t speak a word.
Only when the silence begins to grow uncomfortable, I utter the words. “I’m a fucking mess when I’m around Rose.”
“Mess?” he asks, confusion laced in his tone.
I nod.
“What kinda mess?”
“Just a complete fucking mess.” I groan and tilt my head back as I stare at the ceiling. “It’s embarrassing.”
“And you say that you’re not in love.”
I narrow my eyes in his direction. “I’m not.”
He smiles softly. “This is what love feels like.”
My heart stops beating for a second. “No, that’s not what love is. How could I love her when I just started liking her.”
He stops folding and looks me in the eyes. “You caught feelings for her the moment you met her. After that your feelings just grew. You’ve fallen for her.”
“Feelings aren’t a fucking plant.”
“In my head they are,” he muses. “Your plant resembles a cactus. Imagine how much patience I have for watering it every day even though it doesn’t require much water.”
I look away, not caring what nonsense he’s spewing up. All I can think about is what he said.
You’ve fallen for her, Heath.
As in she was a pebble on the road, and my foot stuck and I just fell. It happened all of a sudden. And I couldn’t save myself.
Falling should hurt, it doesn’t.
Falling should make me scared, it doesn’t.
Falling should make me save myself, but I won’t.
Is this what love feels like?
The weight on my chest starts pressing down on me and I can hardly breathe.
Fuck. I refuse to have a nervous breakdown in the middle of my best friend’s room. I don’t want to worry him.
But the realization that I’m in love with Hope tears me apart from the inside.
It feels like the world has stopped moving and time has still. Everything is frozen but I’m the only one moving and I don’t know what’s happening.
Confusion, anxiety, fear and a bunch of other emotions swirl in my head making me nervous.
Nervous. Fuck. When have I ever been nervous in my life?
I forget all about the topic I wanted to talk about and instead ponder on what he said. This is not the first time he’s told me this, but the impact of his words only hits me now.
