“It proves you’ll leave yourself behind to protect Reuben,” Aster’s eyes narrow. “That is the only way I’ll allow you into the main family.”
I don’t see Reuben being much of a leader if two kids are going to be a threat to him—
A new realization makes me pause and my thoughts kick into high gear.
Because he was in that aisle too. He helped me protect the kids during the shooting. If he wanted them dead, he’d have shot them himself.
Reuben’s expression is unreadable for the first time. Usually I can read his thoughts like a book, no matter how crazy or obnoxious, so this time it can’t be coincidence.
Christian’s eyes never failed him when it came to people. He would always boast about them—about how good he was at reading others. Everett was the firstand last time his eyes failed him. If I want to avoid repeating that mistake then I need to make sure my eyes never fail me.
It’s a long time before my eyes leave Reuben’s. I’m going through our every interaction. Combing through what I’d come to learn about him over the course of seven days. About what made me want to make this squad my second home.
I can only hope my eyes aren’t failing me as I raise the barrel of the gun towards the kids.
My breath seems to hang on the weight of this moment. My limbs feel heavier than they’ve ever been for the first time since impersonating Christian Adler. I’m clenching my teeth so tightly my gums hurt.
“I’m sorry.” My words are meant for the kids only. This moment is only for us, because I’m not sure how the next few seconds are going to go. But the boy’s glare has softened and his voice is braver than last time as he hugs his sister tighter, ducking her head down into his chest, so she won’t have to see, “… You tried.”
I did. It’s a different kind of taste in my mouth knowing that he doesn’t blame me.
And two shots go off in the air, frightening the birds that’d settled into the trees.
Chapter 6
Reuben
The walk back to the house feels longer than before.
Christian’s silence feels heavy on my shoulders, for reasons I can’t place, and I find myself waiting for words that never come. Not when our feet find the pathway that leads to the inner wall, or when we pass the guards at the entry point…
Not when we cut through the flowery courtyard and step into the grand mansion. Or when we weave through the ground floor with soundless footsteps and walk up the stairs.
Christian’s quietness this time is different from before. It fills me with an unease I can’t explain until I’m hovering at his open door like an ex-lover who doesn’t want to let go.
I’d watched him go through a whirlwind of emotions after Aster offered him that gun. Dismay, disbelief, denial. Emotions I couldn't even have guessed if not for this strange quirk of mine, for how well he hides his thoughts and maintains his composure.
But the moment he realized I wouldn't step in, his mask cracked for the very first time.
An expression I could read in his eyes even without looking at his energy.
Defiance.
A flicker of it in the way he looked around and gathered his bearings. A glimmer in his eyes that made me hold my breath, and stoked that strange creature inside me. It went against the whole concept of the assessment, but I craved his violence for a single moment. I wanted to see that colour beneath me when I ruined him. I longed to drag it out of him and break it down until it was nothing but feralneed.
And then it was gone.
His defiance snuffed out like a flame.
Leaving me cold.
I hated the moment he picked up the gun.
Hated the resignation that came out of nowhere and shackled that gorgeous energy.
It might've been everything Aster wanted.
But in that moment, it was everything I didn't know I hated.
