It feels unfamiliar. New.
“I should've expected that.”
“You should always expect violence from me,” he huffs but I can hear the smile in his voice and my thoughts are suddenly tinged with hope.
All these days, months,yearsand I've only ever considered the worst case of my secret ever being found out.
Being shot at. Being run out. Reuben hating me.
I thought I could blend in as people and keep my secret quiet forever.
But I’ve never once considered... the best case.
What if I tell him the truth and he still chooses me?
What if I don’t have to be anyone else?
What if I can just be… myself?
The thought is like a flower of hope blooming in my chest. It’s like I opened the door to something precious—something possible. Something I’d never once dared to consider since coming to this world.
Maybe it's okay if I stop living as and for Christian Adler…
Maybe... I can finally live as me.
And we can be together.
“I'll do it, you know,” my voice sounds small. “I'll really shoot you if you piss me off.”
“It'd be long overdue, I think.”
Reuben, you…
I’m afraid.
I’m afraid of all the things that could go wrong.
But... but if it goesright? I didn’t know I could want something so much. Could yearn for it so desperately, I feel it through every pore of my skin, ringing through my nerves and vibrating my insides.
“... Fine.” I give in with a soft voice, but the beating of my heart is wild and loud in my ears. “After the party. We'll talk.”
It's a soft promise; one that could either end really well… or really badly.
But he’s right. If I keep running, if I don’ttry… I'll never know what we could have been.
I’ll always wonder if it was possible.
“Fuck,” the breath he releases is so full of relief, my spine tingles. It’s as though he was at the edge of a cliff with my gun to his head, and I finally decided not to pull the trigger.
“Fuck, baby,” the sound of his breathless voice is unbelievably sexy in my ears. If he was here, I would’ve kissed him.
I would’ve begged him to fuck me making that sound.
“Yes. Okay.Okay,” he says finally, “I won’t let you take that back.”
I release a breath through my nose, “Just this once… I’ll let you cuff me if I try to run.”
“I'll walk with two—three,” he corrects himself, “three cuffs.”
