“How did Hani seem?”
Jack was quiet for a while before answering. “Not good, kiddo. I’d get ready to hear some bad news.”
My panic became a living, breathing thing. I could feel its fingers digging into my chest, searching for my heart. It whispered terrible things to me, giving voice to all of my greatest fears.
Five days passed without word from Ben.
I read and re-read every PDF Sophia sent me. I appliedallof the techniques she suggested to help me cope with the emotional storm that raged inside of me.
A whole week went by.
On day eight, I got a text.
Ella, this is Hani. Are you able to come to Ben’s?
On my way,I texted back.
I was out of the door in a flash.
I’d been ready for this. Had prayed for this. A bag with a week’s worth of clothes sat on the passenger seat of my truck. Anabel was going to watch my place and the dogs for me while I was gone. Mom and Dad told her no boys. I told her just don’t have sex in my bed.
I texted her as the truck warmed up.
Be right over,she texted back.
What?! Don’t you have school?
It’s Saturday.
Oh. Sorry.
God, I was out of it.
Just in case it took her some time to get here, I let the dogs out to go to the bathroom. When they were all cleaned up and back inside, I hugged and kissed them both before telling them to be good for Auntie Anabel.
And then I was off, locking the door and sprinting back to my truck. I forced myself to drive slowly. It had snowed again last night, and I was so emotional and exhausted that I didn’t trust myself on the slushy mess the roads had turned into. It took me an eternity to get to Ben’s. I yanked my keys out of the ignition as soon as I rolled to a stop and then ran up to the front door.
Ben’s father opened it, almost as tall as his son. His face was drawn, his clothes rumpled like he’d been wearing them for a few days.
“Hi,” I said.
He opened the door wider to let me in. “Thank you for coming over.”
His voice was quiet, so I lowered my own. “You’re welcome. What do you need?”
“We’re running low on food.”
I followed him to the kitchen, keeping my million and one questions to myself. Because priorities.
He stopped at the island counter and turned to face me. “Ben and Klara are both sleeping.”
I nodded, not trusting my voice to hold out if I spoke. It was the middle of the day. They were both asleep. Not a good sign. Especially when added to the fact that now we were in better light, it looked like Hani hadn’t slept at all. His dark eyes were bloodshot. His face had an ashen hue to it. All traces of the laughter that I’d once seen in his eyes was gone.
Together, we wrote out a shopping list.
Deep breaths,I told myself as I climbed back into my truck.Don’t jump to conclusions.
Maybe they were just emotionally exhausted. Maybe they were recovering from the buildup of stress leading to the tests. Maybe this was how Ben and Klara and Hani manifested relief.
