“What about your sister? Deep in wedding planning?”
He remembers. “Oh yeah,” I say. “She’s been sending me all kinds of crazy requests lately.”
“Pitfalls of stardom,” Jordan says.
“I think just pitfalls of sisterhood, actually.”
Jordan laughs. “You’re not looking forward to it at all?”
“No, I am.” I’m hesitant to go home. What will it be like? Last time I was home was before the movie came out. I’m just not entirely sure I belong there anymore, or what it will be like once I’m back. “It’s just weird. Balancing this life with that one.”
Jordan runs a hand over his chin. He’s quiet for a moment, then he looks at me, like, really looks at me. “So how are you doing being back? Besides getting stalked on Robertson, I mean.”
I think about my planned paparazzi shoot with Alexis. He saw that?
“I don’t know,” I say. “Good, I guess.”
I know he’s asking about Rainer and me, but I’m not sure I can talk about it with him. What would I say?Great, Jordan. Rainer told me he loved me last night. Thanks for asking!
“I hung out with Georgina and Alexis yesterday,” I offer instead. I silently pray he won’t elaborate on her. I don’t think I can bear hearing about their chemistry from him.
But he doesn’t react, or offer information. Instead he leans forward, snagging a tortilla chip, and asks what he wants to know, so there’s no way out. “How is Rainer?”
I think about my options. Telling him he’s great. And part of that would be true. But Jordan cares about Rainer. I know he asks because he really wants to know. And more than anything, after so many lies, I want to be honest with him. If we’re going to be friends, maybe we could start here.
“It has been pretty hard on him,” I confess. I don’t tell him about the divorce, or last night, his heated words with his father.
“It’s tough,” Jordan says. “I feel for him.”
I see a vein in his neck flinch, and I know he means it. Jordan has his own family drama. He knows what it’s like to live out such a personal saga in such a public way.
I wish they could talk to each other. I’ve seen them be friendlier, but it’s clear Jordan is still maintaining his distance. And I feel responsible. It’s my fault they’re not friends now. And I don’t have any idea what to do to fix it.
“He doesn’t want anything to do with his father,” I say.
Jordan nods. “Greg used to have a pretty big hold on Rainer. He’s always done what his father asked, no matter what.” He looks right at me when he says it, and something about the intensity in his eyes makes me stop. It’s like he’s trying to communicate with them—to fill in something that his words cannot. “Just don’t be surprised if the tables turn again.”
“Turn on what?”
Jordan sighs, wraps his hands around his water glass. “If he goes back to being Greg’s son.”
“Jordan, Britney was his girlfriend. I don’t see how he could forgive that.”
Jordan clears his throat. He has the slightest evidence of a five o’clock shadow. It makes him look older. It’s strange: Rainer has three years on Jordan, but Jordan has always appeared older to me. Rainer still has a childlike innocence.
“It’s his father,” Jordan says.
I think about Jordan’s own father—the scar on his face, the public financial battles. Jordan would never forgive him. He would never let his father back in. And for a moment I don’t know which is better.
“Maybe,” I say, because I’m not sure what else to.
Our food arrives. Sizzling plates of tamales. They taste as good as they look.
“So what’s next?” he asks. I think for a second he’s talking about us, but then he quickly clarifies. “Have you signed on to any other projects?”
“There’s one I want,” I say between bites.“Closer to Heaven.”
For the first time all day, I see Jordan really smile. “Kick-ass script,” he says. “They want you for India?”
