“Tom.” My voice, when it came out, was much weaker than my abrupt response intended.
“Wait . . . you two know each other?” Georgie asked, looking back and forth between us, confusion spread neatly on her pretty features. Then the light bulb went on. She closed her eyes for a second. “Oh.”
At that point I wanted the floor to open up and swallow me whole, anything to remove myself from the intensity of his hazel eyes. Despite everything he’d done he still had the ability to unravel my senses. My brain whirled in a mixture of mayhem, dismay, and pain.
“Can we talk, somewhere private?” Tom asked, his eyes finally revealing the first signs of distress as they reached into mine.
“I have nothing to say.” I had intended a sharp response, but the sound was hollow in my own ears. Perhaps the blood swirling in my head had dulled my hearing, at least I hoped it had.
“Amy, please.”
“I think she said no,” Ethan said. He stood up beside me, his look was as cold as ice.
“I didn't ask you,” Tom replied, not taking his eyes from me. Beautiful, hazel eyes, desperate eyes, pleading with me.
I felt tears building. I was too hot. Too weak, my legs shook.
Ethan's lips thinned. “And yet, asshole, it appears I answered.”
Tom wasn’t a fighter. He was far to calm and practical for physical violence, but he wasn’t a push over either. I didn’t want to talk. I couldn’t face this. I couldn’t do this, not now. I wasn’t strong enough. Tom had broken my heart to pieces, and I’d stitched myself back together again. Now I felt like I was about to unravel, pool on the floor like a strip of torn fabric.
“Please,” Tom whispered.
All eyes were on us. Sympathy and awkward, concern on their faces.
I drew in a hot breath. “Fine,” I snapped. I moved through the crowd, dazed, my stomach churning.
I walked into the bitter mountain air. I didn’t need to turn back to know Tom trailed behind, I could hear his footsteps,which, somehow, seemed extra loud compared to the light steps of Ethan and Karson. I continued down the street under the moody glow of the street-lamps. When we were suitably away from prying ears. I whirled back. “What in the hell are you doing here?”
Any trace of his prior cool composure was gone, replaced instead by guilt.
“I’ve been searching everywhere for you. Your father slammed the door in my face, your friends didn't know where you went. I couldn't find you anywhere. I checked the hospital database every night and finally your name came up.”
“The fire,” I said, more to myself than him.
“Amy.” His voice wavered and his eyes burned with desperation. “I made the biggest mistake of my life, but you have to know I love you with all my heart. Can you ever—will you forgive me?” He grabbed my hand with a gentle, soft grip.
I yanked away. Pent up hurt bubbled into rage and spilt out in a loud, angry pitch. “A mistake is forgetting to take out the garbage, or not remembering I don’t like seafood and ordering oysters for dinner. You slept with my best friend! That's not a mistake, Tom, it's a decision. A really, really fucking crappy one.” I drew in a shuddering breath, I was dismayed by the sob that choked my words as I whispered, “And you broke me.”
A couple walking down the street hand in hand turned to stare.
“I know, Amy, I know,” he said faintly. The shine of the moon caught tears in his eyes.
My heart tightened. A lump rose in my throat, I gulped hard to keep it down. After everything he’d done, somehow, stupidly, I felt empathy for him. Not just empathy. Love. I still loved him.
“My best friend, Tom!”
Pain shadowed his face and he rasped, “I know.”
I shifted my gaze to focus on faraway, mountains. The clouds broiled above. The tops of the trees waved around under the force of a northern breeze like an ocean wave. Pins pricked my eyes. My vision blurred.
“Why? Didn’t you love me?” I whispered.
A muscle of his jaw tightened. “Of course I loved you. I still love you. It was a stupid, stupid mistake.”
Everyone left me, one way or the other. But Tom, I’d thought he was my rock. I allowed him in, like I’d never let anyone in before. I gave him all of me, loved every part of him. Grumpy Tom, tired Tom, workaholic Tom. I would have done anything for him. I never saw his betrayal coming, and that night I caught him with Kelly, something inside me shifted, shattered like an earthquake had ruptured the last solid part of me remaining, and I know I will never be the same again.
“I never thought you,” I rasped, a single tear sliding down my cheek. “You of all people, would hurt me.”
