As she talks, I gather that Tommy liked playing the part of the jealous boyfriend, having previously encouraged Hannah to flirt and kiss other men while they were out together.
However, Tommy apparently has a limit.
“What do I do?” Hannah weeps, her voice muffled as if she’s talking through tissues. “I love him so much!”
“I know, sweetie. I know,” I say soothingly. “Look… there’s only one thing you can do. You need to take a few breaths and calm down, then contact him and ask him to meet you and talk. He’s engaged in this behavior with you, right? So if he’s changed his mind, then he needs to communicate that with you, and then you can work it out together. But if he’s going to be an asshole or act like a saint, then trust me, Hannah. You’re better off without him. Especially if he can’t tell you his boundaries have changed.”
“You think so?” Hannah says, her voice clearer. “You think he will talk to me?”
I pinch the bridge of my nose to combat the rising ache behind my eyes. “I think it’s your best bet. People who want to fix thingswill talk. People who don’t will just… they don’t deserve it. He likes playing jealous, which means he can’t be angry at you for doing what he wants you to. And if his desires change, then he can’t expect you to be a mind reader.”
“You’re right!” Hannah sighs audibly and groans. “I knew you’d be on my side.”
“Of course I am. You’re my friend.”
“You’re the best Snow, I swear. Fuck, I need a shower. Thank you, thank you for helping me.”
“Any time. You know me.”
“You’re the best!”
The line clicks and falls dead, enveloping me in silence that grows weighty as I stare at my phone until the screen goes black.
That’s it?
How did I just spend the past forty minutes helping her through that and she didn’t evenhearmy cry for help?
She didn’t even ask how I was or why I called.
Gemma’s next on the list, but she doesn’t answer.
Phoebe ignores my call and texts me right after saying she’s at dinner with her parents.
Sitting in my dark apartment on the couch Caleb basically lived on with no one to talk to? The loneliness is crushing.
I’m alone. Truly alone.
This is my problem and my problem alone. But I’m so tired of problems and disasters. I’m so tired of scraping by.
I can’t deal with this right now.
Breathing deeply, I stand and walk out into the hall.
The pregnancy test ends up shoved into one of the trash bags which I then take outside and dump near the trash cans.
I haul trash until my body is warm against the cold, then I lock the front door and pocket the key.
My problems and my pregnancy can stay locked up in that house.
I put it out of my mind and let the bitter, icy wind carry it far away into the dark, snow-filled night.
I’m going back to Xander’s place. Life is better there.
21
XANDER
Bag? Check. Food? Check. Enough blankets to create a triple-layered fort? Check.
