That’s far too much time, money, and effort that I don’t have.
And Xander?
The one good thing in my life will surely run for the hills the moment I drop the bombshell that I’m having another man’s baby.
It was supposed to be just sex, and maybe something more. Light and fun. Something good and warm.
Not the crushing commitment of a baby.
Tears come and my chest tightens painfully. Each breath drags from me like my lungs are loath to let it go, and my head falls into my hands.
I can’t do this.
The test taunts me from the table, one last fuck you from Caleb from beyond the grave.
Even as those thoughts come, guilt immediately follows and I sob harder into my hands. It’s not the baby’s fault.
It’s mine for choosing such a scumbag of a lover and tying so much of my life to him.
I was foolish to think anything real could come from Xander. He’s too good.
Definitely too good for someone like me.
I cry until the room is dark and the sun is well and truly deep beneath the horizon.
Reaching for my phone, my thumb hovers over Xander’s number, but he’s likely still in surgery, and I can’t seek comfort from him about this.
As soon as he finds out, he’ll make the responsible decision and end things.
He’s up for promotion, after all, and some fun sex hardly puts that at risk.
A baby does.
But I need to talk to someone. I need help.
I call Hannah, my only friend who won’t be working at this time of night.
As it rings out, I slump back into the couch and gaze up at the ceiling while my mind circles around this new disaster.
Hannah answers on the tenth ring. “Hello?” Her voice is oddly thick and she sniffles wetly. “Snow?”
“Hey, it’s me. I, uhm… I’m sorry to call without warning but I need help, Hannah. I know you prefer that I text first in case you’re with your boyfriend, but I really need?—”
“No, it’s perfect!” Hannah interrupts, sniffling again. “Oh, girl, it must be fate that you called when I needed someone!”
“What?” Didn’t she hear what I just said?
“I had thishugefight with Tommy and he said all these horrible things and he’s packed up a bunch of his stuff and he left!” Her words trail into a wail so loud that I pull the phone away from my ear with a wince.
“Hannah, I’m so sorry. What happened?”
“He got all mad and jealous at pictures he saw online of me and Gemma clubbing last weekend, and there was a guy in one picture, and I told him, I told him that nothing happened, and it was just a drunken kiss!
He usually gets so jealous when stuff like that happens but he started yelling and said I wasn’t serious about our relationship!
How could he say that after what we’ve done in bed?”
Hannah wails and wails, pouring out more details about her sex life than I ever want to learn while trying to justify snogging another man.
