Despite the pain, a note of hope rises in my chest while I unlatch the door.
It’s not Snow on the other side, much to my sudden disappointment, but I smile anyway as I spot Auriela heading toward her apartment.
“Auriela!” Rushing forward, I immediately take her bag from her. “They discharged you?”
“Xander? Oh, it is you!” She peers up at me with crinkled eyes. “They gave me a full bill of health and turfed me onto the street.”
“I wish you’d called me. I would have come to pick you up.”
“Nonsense, you’ve done enough for me already.” She pats my arm as she reaches her door, then spends a few minutes hunting for her key. “That last nurse I spoke to told me to wrap up warm for the winter and I told her, I said to her, I’m too tough to let some little cold take me down.”
“Auriela, pneumonia isn’t a cold,” I remind her with a smile as she lets herself into her apartment.
“Sure it is. It’s just an angry one.” Shaking her head, she turns to me and holds out her hand for her bag but when our eyes meet, she frowns. “Xander… what’s happened?”
“Hmm? Nothing, I’m fine.”
“Don’t lie to me,” she snaps sharply. “I can tell just by looking at you. Come on, tell me.”
Somehow, Auriela coaxes me into her apartment with Rustle at my feet, and I end up at her kitchen table pouring out every detail of my relationship with Snow, including the secrecy and the danger it brought to my career.
She’s brewed tea and set a mug in front of me by the time I tell her about the baby.
“I don’t know what to do,” I admit, wrapping my hands around the tea mug. “I feel lied to, like I’m untrustworthy or something. I don’t know what more I could have done, or what more I cando when it comes to people I care about. All my life, people have told me I’m standoffish or cold, that I come across as uncaring, and I accept that it’s part of my personality. But with the people I love? I try so hard and it just… backfires.”
Auriela sits next to me, drawing her shawl around her thin shoulders. “You are a good man, Xander. You are. And you’re allowed to be upset. You need to take some time and understand exactly why you are upset. Feel your feelings, as silly as that sounds. Too often, men like you bottle things up or ignore the hurt because you think it makes you weak. You’re allowed to feel upset.”
Warmth mists across my eyes. “Auriela… I feel like I’m back in the same spot where someone I care for just doesn’t see me the same way. How could I have been so blind to that?”
“I don’t think you were blind. I’ve seen Snow. She seems like a nice girl. I won’t pretend to know or understand her reasoning, but I do know this.” Auriela reaches across and lightly taps the back of my hand. “Would she lie to you out of maliciousness? I don’t think so. Like you said, you were putting your career at risk for her and she could have reported that at any time if she wanted to hurt you. Maybe she was trying to manipulate you or she acted recklessly out of fear. Pregnancy is terrifying and from what you’ve told me, she’s been through a lot. Finding out her true motives will put your heart to rest and calm your mind.”
“Since when did you give such sage advice?” I chuckle softly.
“Since always.”
“And yet you ignore it when it comes from someone like me telling you to stop climbing up all these stairs.”
Auriela laughs. “Listen, I have age on my side, Son. I know a thing or two about love. Your job? I can’t help with that. But the heart? When you get to my age, you see through all the bullshit and nothing else matters. So you need to look through the bullshit and you’ll see if she really cares about you as much as you care about her.”
Truer words were never spoken.
The answers to the questions spiraling in my mind can only come from Snow, so that’s who I have to talk to.
“Thank you, Auriela.”
“Don’t thank me, just let me keep this darling!” She reaches down and ruffles her hands through Rustle’s fur. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”
Rustle meows and weaves around Auriela’s ankles.
“Rustle can stay as long as she likes,” I say with a smile. “But I will still thank you.”
I share tea with Auriela for half an hour and then take my leave, ensuring her apartment is warm, her medication is accessible, and Rustle won’t be too much of an issue.
Back in my apartment, Willow’s moved to the top of the fridge and sings the song of her people while trying to dislodge one of my fridge magnets.
Tiger remains fast asleep on the couch where I find my phone, but just as I scroll to Snow’s name in my contact list, the screen lights up.
It’s Thea.
