Was the key to my apartment not enough to show her how much I wanted her to be a fixture in my life?
Risking my career and my reputation was my choice but for Snow, it was worth it and I thought she felt the same.
I was happy for the first time in a long time.
Maybe I missed something.
Maybe she was unhappy and I just didn’t see it, or she really was just in this for the flirting and the sex, the excitement of secrecy.
I sink my fingers into Willow’s fur and she chirrups but refuses to lift her head.
Her warmth seeps deep into my hand and I close my eyes for a moment.
The darkness offers me no comfort.
I spent four hours at the gym and even that wasn’t enough to distract me.
No matter what I do, she’s on my mind and in my heart.
I tried to be a good man for her. I thought I was.
But if she didn’t trust me enough to tell me about the baby, what else didn’t she trust me with?
Thinking about the baby is hard because in the operating theater, for a few hopeful seconds, I thought the baby was mine.
I thought, somehow, our time together had resulted in pregnancy and in those few seconds, I embraced a fantasy I hadn’t considered since my late wife.
Fatherhood.
It’s always been something I wanted out of life, but Claire never wanted children and I loved her enough not to care.
I told myself that my life was fulfilled with the woman I loved and the same would be said for Snow.
But I can’t deny the rise of hope in my heart when I thought she was carrying my child.
Except she’s four months along.
In some ways, maybe this is my fate.
This mirrors the end with my late wife when she kept things from me before my trip.
Had I known she had some chest pains, I never would have flown to be with my sister.
I would have been here with her.
Willow growls softly, alerting me to how my hand has tightened briefly in her fur, so I murmur an apology and soothe her with several pets.
Maybe I really am untrustworthy.
A sudden thump in the hallway drags me from my thoughts and Rustle leaps up from my feet and takes off out of the room.
I move Willow from my lap with one hand and while she chirrups, she remains lazy and immediately curls in on herself on the cushion.
Out in the hallway, I spot Rustle by the front door.
She stretches her paws up the wood and meows loudly.
“Is there someone there?” I ask her, approaching the door.
