“Nyssari,” Lex called out from the boat. “We’re ready.”
But Nyssa wasn’t ready to give him up.
“Reach out for me every now and then so I know you’re safe,” Dorian said softly.
She finally pulled back and nodded. “I will. Try not to do anything stupid while you’re there. I cannot imagine the Blackhands will be happy about what happened.”
Dorian took a step back and gave her his best crooked smile, the one that made her head shake. “What would be the fun in not getting in trouble?” he grinned.
Nyssa looked at Corbin. “Try to take care of him?”
Corbin glanced between the two. “No promises.”
Nyssa huffed, and Dorian stuffed his hands in his pockets, giving Corbin a leering smirk.
“I know you’re joking, Corbin,” Nyssa said, “but really. Try to keep him alive for me.”
A small smile lifted his lips, and Corbin nodded in response.
Lex was relaxed at the front of the boat as Nadir showed her how to steer it when Nyssa finally joined them. Nyssa chose one of the boxes of traded goods he had piled in to sit on, and she pulled her knees into her chest just as they set off.
It wasn’t long until she heard footsteps, and then a warm body sat next to her. She didn’t need to look up to know it was Nadir.
“Are we going to talk about this?” Nadir practically whispered.
Nyssa wasn’t sure what to say. She pressed her shoulders back and looked out at the river, attempting to pull her numbness to the forefront of her core and not think about the knot that made her want to vomit.
“Talk about what?” she breathed. “The fact that you think I’m some love-drunk girl who only gives a damn about romance and having your attention?”
“That’s not—”
Her eyes cut to him, and she knew if she’d had her brother’s fire that her gaze would be black. “You told me that night you’d hoped I would be some horrendous person and tell you to go fuck yourself,” she spat. “So here’s your wish: go fuck yourself, Nadir.”
She glared and turned back to the river, allowing the noise to fill her ears again, and she hugged her trembling knees tighter in her chest. Nadir's energy was uncomfortable beside her, and after a few minutes, she felt him shift.
“I’m sorry,” he whispered. “For earlier. What I said.”
“You shouldn’t be,” she said. “I deserve everything you’ve said. I’m not some great warrior. I’m not my sister. I’m nothing more than a terrified girl who has no idea what she’s doing. You have every right to not want me there.”
“Nyssa—”
“I cannot do this, Nadir,” she snapped, feeling her nose begin to burn.
The noise of her eagle screeching overhead made her eyes close. Even if she couldn't understand him, he was still there, and that helped her aching heart.
Nadir's hand hovered over her leg as though he would squeeze her thigh, but he hesitated, and she heard him sigh. “How are you?” Nadir finally asked, his voice barely audible.
She pondered the question a moment and debated her answer. She wanted to scream again, to let out the frustration and sorrow her body felt, the angst of her ripping heart, the swollen knot in her stomach… but she settled for the answer she’d been spewing for a week.
“I’m fine,” she whispered.
He must have heard the break in her voice, for the next thing she knew, he had wrapped an arm around her, and despite everything she'd said to him in the last few hours, she sank into his embrace.
"I'm glad you're okay," he said before pressing his lips to her head and pulling her entirely into his arms. "Curses of Duarb, I'm glad you're okay."
CHAPTER TEN
DORIAN PAUSED AT Bala’s side as the boats left. His arms crossed over his chest, and he stared sideways at her.
