She knew hearing those two words come from her lips was making him question everything he was about to say.
“How long have you been standing there?” he finally asked her.
“Long enough.”
Bala turned, picked up a few knives from the display, and then pushed past Nadir. “I’ll leave you two to straighten out the details.”
She exited from the room, and Nyssa continued to watch Nadir’s unmoving eyes.
“I cannot look after you,” he said once Bala was gone.
“Don’t worry. I’ll keep myself hidden so as not to be some greatdistractionto you,” she snapped.
“Was this your idea? Coming to my realm?”
“You certainly think highly of yourself.”
“You know—”
“I knowwhat, Nadir?” she nearly shouted, the same anger from her fight with Dorian coming to the surface. “What, you think I asked if I could go to your realm because we shared a couple of sleepless nights together? That you were so amazing,godlyin fact, in bed that you think I am here to fall over your feet and beg you to take me into your arms? Do you think I am some hopeless girl with no more wish than that to fuck you again? Do you think that’s what I want?”
“What do you want, Princess?”
She stared at him, jaw quivering at the ludicrousness of his question. “I want my sister back. I want for this whole mess to never have happened—”
“What you want is ignorance," he seethed. "Comfort. To not be challenged or told you’re wrong. You were given everything in that castle. Never knowing what it was like for someone to talk down to you because your sister ensured that no one ever did. She paved that way for you. She made life easier for you because no one ever did for her. You should be thanking her for throwing herself into those flames.”
“Why would I—”
“Because if she hadn’t, you would be defending yourself from your own guard instead of being able to be here focusing on defending this world and your people.”
“Iambattling against my own guard," she argued. "You think we didn't just have to dodge companies of Belwarks and Dreamers on our way here? Do you think they were happy about Dorian taking Draven that horn? Setting him free to do what he did to our castle? We are marked. There are bounties on our heads. We no longer have a kingdom to even defend.”
Nadir ran his hands through his hair and then over his face, pausing a moment to consider her. She could see the bite back in his clenched teeth, the irritation in his gaze despite the dilation he watched her with. And then, finally, his hands came to rest on his hips.
“Do not come with me because you feel you have to or because you feel as though you owe my people something," he said lowly. "And not because Bala told you you would be safe there from the people trying to take her kingdom either. Come with me because you want to help us defend this world. This isn’t a holiday. This is a war zone.”
A fire blazed in her chest, and she glared up at him. “Then you’ll show me to my station when we get there, Commander.”
He paused over her, apparently debating her words.
“Grab your Second and get on my boat. We leave in an hour.”
Telling her brother goodbye was tougher than Nyssa thought it would be. She didn't know when or even if she would see him again. They held onto each other for a long enough moment that she almost broke in his arms. He pulled back, his hands cupping her face, and they repeated the words that they'd promised each other on the beach.
Small smiles rose on both their faces at the words. Dorian brushed the tear from her cheek. “Stop crying,” he choked teasingly. “If you cry, I cry. Can’t let that happen. I’ve a reputation, you know.”
“Oh, wouldn’t that be a sight,” she mocked, sniffing back the tears with a smile. “The great Dorian Eaglefyre crying. Someone call the scribe so we can write this moment down in the Chronicles.”
“One of us has to be the strong, handsome one.” His gaze flickered over her shoulder to Corbin. “Right, Bin?” he called out.
Corbin just stared at him, eyes narrowing, before turning back to helping Lex load up the boat. Dorian grinned at Nyssa, and Nyssa almost laughed.
“We’ll be lucky if he doesn’t leave you in the Mortis Lunar Pass,” she muttered.
“I’m sure he’ll try.”
Nyssa huffed and hugged him one last time. Dorian always smelled like he was on fire. The sweetness of a flame being lit and the last embers of wood burning. Anytime she was away from him, she would always light a fire, whether it was the middle of a bright, hot summer day or if it was the dead of winter.
