“Noelle, stop.” I reach over and grab her hand, squeezing until she lifts her eyes to look at me. “Don’t do that to yourself. ‘What if’s’ are going to drive you insane. You did what you thought was best at the time, that’s all that matters. Eli is safe and healthy. You did good. It doesn’t matter that we didn’t know. We know now, and we’re here foryou.”
Her chin trembles. “Why don’t you hate me?”
Oh god.
Her words slice right through me.
My heart squeezes painfully tight, like it’s trying to force back all the useless guilt I’ve been carrying for her, all the anger I wish I could actually take out on her stupid ex.
How could she even think that?
I can’t sit there another second. I shove my chair back and slide around to her side of the table.
The legs of the chair scrape softly against the floor, and before she can protest I’m beside her.
The moment I wrap my arms around her shoulders, she folds. She melts against me, small and slightly shaking, pressing her face into my chest.
Her hand grabs at my shirt in a tight, desperate grip like she needs something solid to anchor her.
“It’s okay,” I murmur, one hand finding the back of her head, the other tracing slow, steady circles along her spine. “You didn’t do anything wrong, Noelle. You don’t have to keep apologizing for surviving.”
Her breath comes out in shaky bursts against my chest. Every sound in the cafe fades out—the clinking of cups against plates, the hum of conversation, and the faint Christmas music playing overhead.
It’s just her clinging to me like she’s been holding everything in for too long and me keeping her grounded through it all.
“I wanted to tell you all, I really did. I promise,” she chokes out, voice muffled.
“You did,” I tell her firmly. “That’s all that matters.”
For a long moment, she doesn’t move. I keep holding her, rubbing her arm in small circles until the tremors finally fade.
She stays pressed against me, her cheek resting against my shoulder, and I let her because as much as she needs this honestly so do I.
When she finally leans back, her eyes are glassy but calmer. “Thank you.”
I’m so tempted to kiss her right in the middle of this damn cafe.
It’s ridiculous, inappropriate even because people might see us, but the thought hits me so hard it nearly knocks the breath out of me.
There’s something about this moment that makes it impossible to turn away.
The vulnerability, the quiet strength in the way she’s still here, still trying even after everything that’s happened to her.
She doesn’t know it but she’s the bravest person I’ve met, and I can’t help wanting to protect that with every damn fiber of my being.
“I’m not going anywhere, okay? You don’t ever have to do this alone again,” I murmur, barely hear above the noise around us.
She nods, and the tiniest smile pulls at her lips. That’s all it takes for the ache in my chest to double. “Thank you, Dean. That means the world to me.”
I force myself to sit back and give her space to breathe before I do something neither of us can take back.
But as she reaches up to brush the last tear from her cheek, her fingers on her other hand graze mine, it’s enough to make me wonder how much longer I’ll be able to keep pretending this is just about keeping her safe and ignore the burning desire to have her,allof her, damned the repercussions.
20
NOELLE
It’s late in the afternoon when Dean pulls into the driveway.
