“81, tell me how can someone so damn achingly beautiful hold a soul so dark and believe that he deserves all the blackness that comes from a world that he had to move in to survive?”She moves her hand to release my hair from the hair tie and it falls around my face. She smiles at me as she pushes strands away from my eyes, she always likes to look into my eyes - the window to an insane soul that she wants more of.
“Maybe it’s because the most beautiful faces hide the darkest souls, little bird,” I say taking her lips in mine. Burning her taste into my blood stream, I needed to not forget her. This. Us. The way she is with me. The way I am with her.
Because I need her to suffocate me so I can know what it feels like to love alive.
Thunder erupts above us as lighting sparks through the sky and lights up her room. With sliver streaks casting a shadow over her face, my body hums as my cock grows wanting to do all the bad things to her - break her just so I can fuck her back together again.
I’m completely consumed by her and the way her eyes change color when she’s happy or sad. Aroused or mad. Right now, they are the color of whiskey poured over ice. I had no idea I’m even capable of sharing this kind of emotion and connection with someone without being high. I see Jade frown slightly and realize she is watching the small lone tear roll from my eye and down my cheek. She lifts one of her hands from inside the bedding to my face, wiping it away with the pad of her thumb. She then presses her beautiful face up toward mine and kisses me, gentle and soft in her own little bird way. That sent shivers to convulse down my spine, coaxing more traitorous tears out of me. I know she knows what I’m feeling, the raw emotions that she conjures within me. She has this way of knowing before I do, and she has a sixth sense for reading my mind.
She leans into my ear kissing me softly before whispering, “Just let go and fall, 81. Feel it all. I won’t let the hurt show.”
I move my hands to slide up and down her body for the first time since I slipped into her bed, making me realize that she only has panties on.
Every touch of her skin under mine, sends waves of heat coursing through me as her lips move to brush across my mouth. I shiver under her touch as she moves over to my other ear pulling herself up higher to straddle me. I allow her over my body twisting so I am now on my back as her knees lock me into her embrace.
“I wish that I had not touched anyone before you. 81. I wish that you had not touched her and all of them girls before me. I wish that I had found you when you needed someone the most. I would have saved you from so much pain. I’m falling hard for you and it’s your eyes that keep my dreams company at night. My mind screams your name. My throat stings as the fire burns for you to make me yours. I can still feel your breath all over me from each time you leave. I just want to be the one for you indefinitely. So, stop drowning inside your dark ocean and swim to me.” Her hands find either side of my face as I try to look away from her, I hate that she can make me cry. That she sees me cry. Raw. Unpeeling around her and becoming a different type of beast - one that doesn’t require the Novocain of a ghost.
“I said goodbye to her today,” I speak for the first time in what felt like forever, my voice quiet even to my ears.
“It’s you I need. You’re my beautiful sliver of beautiful chaos, Jade. I have realized tonight that sometimes your heart needs more time to accept what your mind already knows. And that I sometimes survive on the worst kind of pain. I am a monster. A beast. I kill. I hurt. I bleed as much as I take, and I hurt myself sometimes in a way that’s required to feel better. I’m a psycho, baby. Inside my mind is a scary place but if that doesn’t scare you, then, baby, will you wear my patch and walk beside me when I get back from this run?” I ask her not knowing how, or why this all came tumbling from my mouth as tears now fall from her eyes.
“I have no clue what this patch talk means. But I will do it all for you. I will wear whatever it is you require to feel more human than beast, baby.”
I feel my entire body relax with that admission and when her mouth touches mine, I lose all control and slide her panties to the side and sink my cock inside the warm folds of her being. She opens up for me and rises up taking control with the roll of her hips and the power of her thrusts. I lay there with my hands reaching for the swell of her breast and I allow this magical woman to cast her sensual spell over me and ride me into the dark of the night, while the rain pounds around us as the gods fight above. There is thunder and lightning cracking and striking, lighting us up in a brilliant silver light show.
I wake to the sound of my phone buzzing inside my jean pocket. I search the floor with one hand aimlessly trying to shut it off. “Fuck off,” I mutter as I slip my hand inside the pocket and press the lock button ending the buzzing.
Falling back beside her, I watch the rise and fall of her chest as she slowly breathes in the air of a new day. It’sa day where I have toleave, and I know she will slip while I am gone. I see it in her eyes, she will allow her mind to change the chess game pieces around and she will overthink each move. With motive, she will talk her way out of it all - destroy it before it began. Destroy herself over and over. I wanted what she would never be able to give me. Her. All of her or nothing, and she couldn’t smash that last brick.
Again, the phone buzzed inside my pants. Jade murmur and moves beside me, pulling her body closer to mine, while pulling the overstuffed comforter up around her face. I can no longer see her chest rise and fall or the way the vein in her neck pulsed with each beat of her heart.
I rub my thumb over the screen to unlock and answer the damn call.
“What!”
“Morning to you too,” Ghost’s voice greets me.
“What do you want?”
“Just a courtesy call to say we ride out in forty minutes and Bray’s neck already has that vein bulging.”
I’ll be there,” I snap with a whispered tone.
“Whatever you say, lover boy.” He laughs as I slide the phone to hang up.
Twisting a strand of her black hair around my finger, my heart aches as I look at her and think of all that she could do to me.
“If you cut me, little bird, I will bleed. If you hurt me, little bird, I will cry. If you left me, little bird, I swear I will die inside. I thought I had felt pain before you, but I know now that I had never felt anything until I felt what it was like to be near you.” I breath down to her beautiful, still face. Her eyes flicker behind her lashes as her body begins to wake up. Her cheeks are a stunning shade of rose-pink and her lips are just the right shade of red begging for me to take them between my teeth and smear the cherry blood red of her soul over them.
I lose myself in the image of what that would look like and never seen her eyes open until is too late. She has moved her hands up to cup my face to pull me down into the bed, with her the comforter pulled up and over our heads. Doing that, she blocks out the world and the rising sun, now it’s just us locked inside each other’s eyes breathing each other in.
"Don't leave me," she breaths. "For I will surely also die."She moves her lips to mine sealing the raging thoughts inside a kiss that makes my lungs burn and stops my heart.
Breaking the kiss, I search her eyes for answers to if we will be ok and giving her answers to her own questions but her eyes narrow and made it hard for me to access her soul where all her secrets lay.
“I need you to promise me something, okay?” Her eyes remain narrowed, hooded and darker than I have ever seen them before.
“Anything, little bird,” I speak as her intense stare connects with my core by passing my eyes and just soaring straight to its target.
